IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#aim #science #people’s #lives #answers
In the era of
gobalization
Correct your spelling
globalization
globalisation
, the advancement we achieved in
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 improving our lifestyle day by day .
according to
 my
Add a comma
prospective,
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prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
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with
Change preposition
that
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 science
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a very important role in human
life
 and makes
life
 easier.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain all with key factors and with relevant examples.
firstly
 , in medical sector become advanced nowadays and the patients get
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
 facilities
moreover
 the new discoveries
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 medicine
saving everyday
Wrong verb form
save
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 thousands of lives.
for example
 in
carona
Change the capitalization
Carona
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 time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thousands of people dieying
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 and countries
facing
Wrong verb form
faced
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mazor
Correct your spelling
major
Mazor
 downfalls in their
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
as well as
 in other sectors but after the discovery of the antidot which became
life
Add an article
a life
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 saver .
secondly
 , the advancement we achieved in
space
Correct article usage
the space
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 sector helped
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humanity to increase their
knwonlage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 and helped them to improve their lifestyle .
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 the discovery of
statellite
Correct your spelling
satellite
satellites
 helps
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to predict the weather and upcoming threats
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
japan is based on
tactonic
Correct your spelling
tectonic
tactic
 plates so they suffering from floods and earthquakes
froma
Correct your spelling
for
 a long time but
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the invention of earthquake machines and
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
statellites
Correct your spelling
satellites
satellite
 they predict before
the floods waves
Change to a genitive case
the waves of the flood
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 reaching to their
costal
Correct your spelling
coastal
show examples
 area's and they shift their people to save places by that they saving millions of lives every year in
this
 world. In conclusion ,
although
 , it has been proved that science plays an important role in human
life
 and helps them to make their
life
 easier and safe.
Submitted by lovepreetsainimohitsaini on

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coherence cohesion
Start by focusing on enhancing the overall clarity and structure of your essay. Aim for clearer paragraph division and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, in addition) to strengthen the connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer outline of your arguments and a succinct summary of your main points, respectively. This will help in framing your essay more effectively.
task achievement
Work on refining your task response by ensuring your essay fully addresses the prompt. It's critical to present a balanced view if required, clearly state your position, and maintain this stance throughout.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehension of ideas, practice structuring sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Keep paragraphs focused on a single idea and develop it fully before moving on.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and accurate vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This can also help in making your examples more relevant and specific, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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