Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Sport is one of the essential elements of our lives which lead people to
a healthy and happy life. With the help of physical activity,both adults and young people get fit and
also
stay positive more than those who donot
do exercise at all. We all know thatCorrect your spelling
do not
,
those who are active and fit are Remove the comma
apply
also
happier and more satisfied with their lives.
According to
some
communities, sporting activities held at the Olympic games are extremely important as they motivate individuals to be healthy. I agree with Change preposition
In some
this
view up to a point. In my humble opinion, sportsmen who take part in
such
sporting events tend to spend most of their time in gyms and sports centres. But it is also
stressful and exhausting. Those who see them working out all the time can not see the advantages of
such
sporting occasions. I have a very close friend of mine, who used to be a professional wrestler and had to quit sport
because of the health problems she had
during her training. So Add an article
the sport
this
does not encourage at all.
There are communities that think viceversa
. Fortunately, they show us other Correct your spelling
vice versa
vice-versa
waysof
staying healthy Correct your spelling
ways of
way of
suchas
keeping a Correct your spelling
such as
healthydiet
, meditation and quality sleep. The individuals who eat healthy food with needed portions of vitamins will Correct your spelling
healthy diet
also
affect our health as same as doing sport. As for meditation, it is significantly meaningful not only to our body but also
to our mental state. However
, I believe that all the things we do to our body should give only positive feelingsand
have to be taken into account each person's needs. Correct your spelling
feelings and
feelings
Thus
, I can assume that using all the advice given to improve a healthy lifestyle should be examined individually taking each person's state into consideration.Submitted by ali_naz on
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task achievement
Your essay reflects an understanding of the topic and attempts to discuss both views along with providing your own opinion. However, it needs more clarity and depth in terms of examples and elaboration. Incorporating more specific examples to support your points would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve the structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it directly support that idea. Introduce your essay with a more explicit statement explaining what will be discussed and conclude with a summary that reinforces your main points. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your text.
task achievement
It's crucial to fully address all parts of the task. Although you discuss both views and your own opinion, make sure to develop each point thoroughly. This includes providing more detailed discussion and analysis, which will help achieve a complete response to the question asked.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions by using more varied and clear linking words or phrases. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly and strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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