Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
It is argued that innovation advancements are fixed
in
the sole purpose of Change preposition
for
money making
and Add a hyphen
money-making
economical
growth. Replace the word
economic
While other
Correct word choice
Other
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
advocates
for Correct subject-verb agreement
advocate
this innovations
to take into account environmental and societal problems. Change the determiner
this innovation
these innovations
This
essay aims to discuss both of this
opinionsCorrect determiner usage
these
,
and state that companies should take into consideration both social and environmental issues.
Remove the comma
apply
First
and foremost, innovation has been rooted in societal and environmental needs as well as
natural resources. Most of the cases for innovational artifacts
to be created were Change the spelling
artefacts
place
Wrong verb form
placed
according to
different social movements that prompted to
action in creations, enhancing the Change preposition
apply
fabrics
of society. To illustrate, the invention of social media platforms Fix the agreement mistake
fabric
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
first
materialized due to
a lack borderless
social interactions with others. Platforms Change preposition
of borderless
such
as facebook
, had in mind fostering a safe place for people to share their thoughts, Capitalize word
Facebook
as well as
to make interactions with one another, even when the distance played a big role in diminishing such
possibilities.
Moreover
, undermining elements that surround and provide the foundations for industries could lead to the fast deteoring
of their own advancement. Correct your spelling
deterring
For example
, forest
and natural environments provide the primary matter in the construction of famous enterprises, Fix the agreement mistake
forests
such
as Amazon
. Correct article usage
the Amazon
However
, their pursue
Replace the word
pursuit
on
Change preposition
of
bussiness
domination has led to deforestation and Correct your spelling
business
destruction
of natural habitats.
Correct article usage
the destruction
On the other hand
, profit and economical
success Replace the word
economic
has
been a key factor Change the verb form
have
to
industrial and technological growth since the Change preposition
in
first
stages of historical societies. Without funding, many experiments and innventions
would have been still in Correct your spelling
inventions
invention
mere
stage of ideation. Add an article
the mere
a mere
According to
studies from the History Department of Cardiff University, most of the inventions made in the first
and second industrial revolution
were Fix the agreement mistake
revolutions
due to
the
patronage and monetary funding from the bourgeoise across Europe. Correct article usage
apply
However
, nowadays it is an ethical duty to comply with social and environmental measurements
to guarantee Replace the word
measures
counciuss
industries.
Correct your spelling
countless
To conclude
, even though the wealth factor remains as
the pivotal Correct word choice
apply
pursue
of most Replace the word
pursuit
of
Change preposition
apply
the
technological and industrial advancement, it is important to remark Correct article usage
apply
the
Change preposition
on the
counciussnes
that Correct your spelling
consequences
such
enterprises or inventions must have before they advance, in order to make compromises that help both society and the environment.Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents some good ideas, but they need to be more clearly defined and directly address the prompt. Consider restating the question in your own words in the introduction to make sure your position is clear.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, when discussing the impact of social media platforms, you could include statistics or studies that support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay more logically by clearly separating your arguments into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion should directly address the question, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing your main arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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