The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

#world #towns #cities #centuries #people #times

In ancient times,

cities

were cemented on societies' sustainability for living,

in contrast

to the

towns

and households constructed in the present time.

This

could potentially create cluster

neighbourhoods

and foster an imbalance between living units and industrial development. In

order

to attend

such

Change preposition

to such

show examples

issues it is important for

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

to have

a strong urban planning departments

Correct the article-noun agreement

a strong urban planning department

strong urban planning departments

show examples

, that could work around equitable solutions to create more suitable and livable

cities

Firstly

, industrial advancement played a key role in urban planning and organization. Nowadays, is

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

by the idea of economic

expasion

Correct your spelling

expansion

, rather than

confortness

Correct your spelling

comfortless

for people in general.

This

expansion of

industries

would often take

spaces

meant for

neighbourhoods

and liveable units, and could create cluster

neighbourhoods

, that reside in the same area of developing

industries

threathing

Correct your spelling

threatening

the lifestyle of surrounding people.

According to

recent studies made by VOX, the suburbs and outskirts of

towns

were

Correct your spelling

where

show examples

neighbourhoods

had developed for 50 years, will be impacted by the construction of massive factories surrounding the area. Prompting families to either bear

this

overwhelm

Change the form of the verb

overwhelming

show examples

feeling and contamination

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or leave the town.

On the other hand

this

poor

managment

Correct your spelling

management

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

architecture

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

could lead to an imbalance between liveable

spaces

for

livinghood

Correct your spelling

living

, and gathering with factories or commercial

spaces

meant

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

purposes.

For example

, in small

towns

, the growth of mining

industries

had

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to a

disarragement

Correct your spelling

disarrangement

disparagement

of many households that live in the same area, facing social development with an

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

one.

Furthermore

, in

order

abide

Verb problem

find

show examples

a solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

these problems, it is important that local and national

goverments stregthen

Correct your spelling

governments strengthen

their urban planning offices, in

order

to create solutions to construct more sustainable and liveable

cities

and

towns

, for people to reside without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

feeling

overwhelm

Wrong verb form

overwhelmed

show examples

, amplifying the

spaces

for house construction in

order

to evade clustering.

In addition

bussinness

Correct your spelling

business

must comply with societal balance, locating their headquarters in places that are not meant to be the abode of thousands of families or the construction of

neighbourhoods

To conclude

, the former and ancient

cities

were designed with a strong sense of balance, one that

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

should foster in

order

to plan around

cities

Change noun form

cities'

city's

show examples

needs, evicting the cluster of

livinghoods

Correct your spelling

living-hoods

living hoods

, and impractical imbalance provided by growing

industries

. To work around their needs is a

necesity

Correct your spelling

necessity

, in

order

to build strong

towns

such

as the ones depicted by our ancestors.

Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on Sat Mar 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your essay does have these components, they could be more effectively structured to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Focus on developing your main points with well-supported arguments and examples. Although you have provided examples, they would benefit from more specific details and elaboration to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Make a concerted effort to address all parts of the task thoroughly. While your essay touches on the problems caused by the design of ancient cities and potential solutions, elaborating more clearly and comprehensively on these aspects will enhance your response.

task achievement

Streamline your ideas to ensure clarity and comprehensiveness. Aim for concise, well-explained points that are directly relevant to the essay question. This will help you convey your ideas more effectively and make your essay more compelling.

task achievement

Employ specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. While you've provided examples, they lack the specificity and direct relevance required to fully support your points. Consider using more precise and illustrative examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

388 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overcrowding
infrastructure
traffic congestion
housing shortages
degradation
cultural heritage
energy efficiency
carbon footprint
accessibility
sustainable urban planning
smart city technologies
green technology
regulations
sustainable
integrated
public transportation
pedestrian
cycling infrastructure
reliance
mitigate

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The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to the manager of the Lost and Found department of the railway regarding the luggage you accidentally left on the train. In your letter, give details of your train trip describe the luggage you left on the train say what actions you want him/her to take

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?