Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviors #age #group #argue #peer #pressure

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society, adolescents could be

maleable

Correct your spelling

malleable

to the personality of those in their same age gap.

While

many

people

remark

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

importance of

peer

pressure

, others may point out the downsides of

this

situation. In

this

essay, I will explain in detail why

peer

pressure

could represent several disadvantages for

people

of young ages.

To begin

with,

peer

pressure

could unleash

reprobable

Correct your spelling

probable

reprobate

behaviours in young folks, who try to adequate themselves into social standards or manners held by their social circles. Reprobable manners and hazardous

conducts

Fix the agreement mistake

conduct

show examples

such

as using drugs or entering the realm of crime, are just a few outcomes led by

peer

pressure

of certain social groups. A recent study conducted by VOX surveyed several high schools across the UK

due to

the sudden surge of the vaping practice.

This

study concluded that at least one of three students

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

vaping in order to be recognized and included in social activities or gatherings among their classmates.

Moreover

, the

peer

pressure

exert

Wrong verb form

exerted

show examples

by friend groups over certain

people

usually leads to a loss of individuality,

as well as

the capacity to stay true to themselves. Having a strong sense of self lays the framework for

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

makers of the future. To

ushered

Add a missing verb

be ushered

show examples

and obligated to adopt and mimic certain personalities that do not fit with their own values is certainly

dishartening

Correct your spelling

disheartening

For example

, many

inmmigrant

Correct your spelling

immigrant

immigrants

youngsters

supress

Correct your spelling

suppress

their accents or try to imitate their peers in order to be socially included or accepted.

To conclude

, even though

peer

pressure

puts a weight

Change preposition

show examples

people

of young ages to act or be a certain

ways

Correct the article-noun agreement

way

show examples

this

encages and labels

people

in boxes,

supressing

Correct your spelling

suppressing

their individuality.

Moreover

, it could

also

signify

Change the article

show examples

backdoor to engage in hazardous activities. To be able to express and construct

ones'

Change noun form

one's

show examples

personality is crucial,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in developing stages. Advancing into eliminating

peer

preassure

Correct your spelling

pressure

and fostering habits of reassurance could potentiate the construct of a better society.

Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on Sun Mar 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Further elaborate on both sides of the argument by providing a more balanced view. While the disadvantages of peer pressure are well-explained, integrating advantages for a comprehensive analysis could enhance the essay's depth.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas. While the essay is mostly well-structured, transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs could improve the overall flow. Try using varied transitional phrases to link ideas.

task response

Try to support your arguments with a broader range of examples and evidences. Your illustration on vaping is pertinent, but additional diverse examples would strengthen your arguments and provide a richer insight into the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

influence
behavior
age group
peer pressure
distinct
advantages
disadvantages
motivate
excel
positive behaviors
substance abuse
bullying
risky activities
belonging
acceptance
anxiety
stress
low self-esteem
conform
individuality
personal growth
decision-making skills
situations
resist
healthy balance
personal development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There has been an increasing trend where people rather seek for alternative medicine than visiting the professionals to deal with various health issues. In my view, I believe that this is a negative development due to these two reasons.
7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students these days are pushed by society to become successful academically. It is said that vocational subjects, such as physical education and cookery, must be removed to keep the children focused on their academic goals. However, I completely disagree with the statement because it does not cease the pressure on the students. Contrary to people's beliefs, non-academic subjects at school are actually helpful to these young people with various benefits behind them.
7
band
fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Junk food is available at low cost in recent years. Although this change saves money, its disadvantages of increased health illness and decreased family bondings are more significant.
4.5
band
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Literature is a great source for intellect, life lessons and culture. Exceptional literary work has been produced across the globe. Some writers stirred the cauldron of poetic phrases and others told immaculate stories. While teaching your own country’s literature can provide vital cultural insights and create a sense of national pride in children. However, it is unfair to completely ignore writers from other parts of the world. Rather than placing importance on one particular kind work, we should create a balance between local and global literary insights.
7
band
Directors of organzations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while ther think it is unfair. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
In contemporary corporate landscapes, the disparity in salaries between directors of major organizations and their ordinary workforce is a subject of considerable debate. While some argue that the substantial remuneration of directors is justified due to their specialized skills and experience, others contend that such discrepancies are inherently unfair given the collective contribution of all employees to the company's success.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Directors of organzations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while ther think it is unfair. Discuss both view and give your opinion.