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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, modern
technology
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 has become an essential part
from
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of
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 our life. There is a debate about whether
the
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apply
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modern
technology
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 plays a significant role in
brining
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bringing
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people
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 together or is
a
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the
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 main reason for isolation . In
this
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 essay, I am going to
discus
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discuss
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 both
point
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points
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 of
views
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view
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. In my opinion, a balanced using of
technology
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 is a brilliant solution to deal with
this
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 argument. On the one hand,
Technology
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 participates in making the whole world
as
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apply
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a small village.
Firstly
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, It helps
people
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 to keep contact regardless
the
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of the
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 distance.
In other words
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, anyone can send messages or
doing
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make
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 video calls from any part of the world to another person in
other country
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another country
other countries
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 through WhatsApp, Facebook or any other chatting programs.
More over
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Moreover
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, we can know about what the news
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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 any part of the universe at the same time of
happing
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happening
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 because of the internet.
For instance
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, when an earthquake occurred in Turkey
last
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 year, all the news talked about
this
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 instantly. For all these reasons, It is can not deny the influence of
technology
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 in our daily
life
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lives
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.
On the other hand
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, Some
people
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 argue that
technology
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 is
a
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the
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 main reason for isolation and
drove
Wrong verb form
drives
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people
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 apart.
In other words
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, many humans prefer to send
message
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messages
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instead
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 of meeting which
lead
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leads
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people
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 to spend a lot of time sitting on their phones or laptops without moving.
This
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 will cause less contact with each other.
Besides
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, It is very harmful
for
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in
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 many aspects
such
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 as physical or social
contacts
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contact
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 because it will result in obesity from sitting
a
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for a
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long period without moving.
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TO
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To
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 conclude using
technology
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 is a double weapon
according to
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 its use.
While
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 some
people
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 defend
on
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apply
show examples
the benefits of using it, others are against it . As they see it has a lot of drawbacks

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and recap them in the conclusion for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of the essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Include a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints and a clearer explanation of your own stance.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more compelling and improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Avoid general statements and strive for more detailed explanations and reasoning in your argumentation to enhance coherence and task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
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