Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #event #communication #countries #waste #money

Nowadays, the choice of worldwide athletic

games

is difficult to make. A wide range of factors is involved in

such

decisions.

Although

some people prefer

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

, others might

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

local

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

This

essay will examine both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion.On the one hand, global sports competitions present a range of opportunities.

For example

, there are many ways to entertain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

such

as motivation,

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

stress and

also improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

mental health.What is more,

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

would be diverse, with

create

Verb problem

apply

show examples

international relationships including new connections and cultural exchange to choose from.

Furthermore

, by far access to boost tourism in

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

is ensured by competition participants and a wider choice of income opportunities, increasing visitors and creating demand in areas

such

as hotels and restaurants.

Finally

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

could

also

be superior as

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are good for cultural identity

such

break

Wrong verb form

breaking

show examples

down prejudice

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

between

Change preposition

show examples

each

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

On the other hand

, some people have strong objections to worldwide championships. One of their main arguments is. making life high expenses resulting from gym memberships or spending

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to practice increased by

sport

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

. Most would agree

that

Change preposition

with that

show examples

. social problems

Change the verb form

are

show examples

much higher in

Olympic

games

events

Olympic

games

events

are increasingly becoming more common

whereas

in local

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

Lastly

Olympic

games

events

can be a very expensive place to live since finding affordable rooms may present a challenge and everyday living expenses are generally higher than those in local

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

To sum up

Olympic

games

events

offer a wider variety of

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for work and leisure. That being said. International sports tournaments symbolize the drawbacks of modern life. I believe that worldwide athletic

games

Change the noun form

game

show examples

events

have more benefits than drawbacks.

Submitted by chemchemsci on Sun Mar 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Provide a clearer introduction that explicitly presents the topic and your thesis statement. This helps set a strong foundation for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use topic sentences to introduce these ideas. It helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

task response

Develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Specific examples strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use linking words to connect paragraphs and sentences more effectively. This improves the flow of your essay and makes your ideas clearer.

task response

Work on creating a more concise conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

global unity
foster
athletic prowess
cultural exchange
universal platform
transcending
infrastructure development
drain resources
long-term investments
financial imprudence
recouped
sustainable planning
mitigate

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange
I am writing this letter to inform you that I have received your invitation. I do appreciate much!
4.5
band
New forms of money are becoming extremely popular nowadays. Is this a positive development or adding risk to the system? Should new money technology face greater regulation and scrutiny? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
There is no doubt that the usage of money has changed significantly in the last years. Cryptocurrencies and digital payment platforms have became an integral part of our live. While there are some drawbacks, I tend to believe that there are more positive sides.
6
band
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.
Globalisation is the process of integration amongst people which was brought about by an unprecedented development in technology, especially in communication and transportation. This process has made cultures and traditions converge into one, creating a belief that cultural identity will fade into a monochrome of uniformity. However, in my opinion, I believe that cultural identity will never be lost as we approach a more globalised world.
5
band
Write about the following topic: The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I believe it's due to the fast development of technology. Back to industrialization era, machines replace human work. For instance, in the past, we had to weave by our hands. However, there's a lot of sewing machines which save time for the employers, because of the advancement of science and technology.
6.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is an argument going on between notions regarding the idea of working for yourself or for a company. Most of the people find self-employment to be a better option. In my opinion, the most important reason behind this is that you receive more freedom in comparison to working for an organization. As well as believing that this choice can lead to some drawbacks.

Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.