Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the choice of worldwide athletic
games
is difficult to make. A wide range of factors is involved in
such
decisions.
Although
some people prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
, others might
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
local
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
.
This
essay will examine both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion.On the one hand, global sports competitions present a range of opportunities.
For example
, there are many ways to entertain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
such
as motivation,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
stress and
also improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
mental health.What is more,
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
would be diverse, with
create
Verb problem
apply
show examples
international relationships including new connections and cultural exchange to choose from.
Furthermore
, by far access to boost tourism in
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
is ensured by competition participants and a wider choice of income opportunities, increasing visitors and creating demand in areas
such
as hotels and restaurants.
Finally
,
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
could
also
be superior as
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are good for cultural identity
such
as
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
down prejudice
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people have strong objections to worldwide championships. One of their main arguments is. making life high expenses resulting from gym memberships or spending
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to practice increased by
sport
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
. Most would agree
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
. social problems
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
much higher in
Olympic
games
events
.
Olympic
games
events
are increasingly becoming more common
whereas
in local
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
.
Lastly
,
Olympic
games
events
can be a very expensive place to live since finding affordable rooms may present a challenge and everyday living expenses are generally higher than those in local
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
.
To sum up
,
Olympic
games
events
offer a wider variety of
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for work and leisure. That being said. International sports tournaments symbolize the drawbacks of modern life. I believe that worldwide athletic
games
Change the noun form
game
show examples
events
have more benefits than drawbacks.
Submitted by chemchemsci on

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task response
Provide a clearer introduction that explicitly presents the topic and your thesis statement. This helps set a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use topic sentences to introduce these ideas. It helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task response
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Specific examples strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect paragraphs and sentences more effectively. This improves the flow of your essay and makes your ideas clearer.
task response
Work on creating a more concise conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global unity
  • foster
  • athletic prowess
  • cultural exchange
  • universal platform
  • transcending
  • infrastructure development
  • drain resources
  • long-term investments
  • financial imprudence
  • recouped
  • sustainable planning
  • mitigate
What to do next:
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