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Band 5.5

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been postitive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

#lifestyles #people #changes #postitive #points
Great, thank you!
Technology
 has certainly had a huge impact on modern lifestyles. On the one hand, it has revolutionized the way we communicate, work, and access information.
For example
, the ease and speed of communication through devices like smartphones and social media have connected people across the globe like never before.
Additionally
, advances in medicine and science, made possible through
technology
, have improved
health
 and extended life expectancy.
However
,
on the other hand
, there are concerns about the negative effects of
technology
 on our lives.
For instance
, increased screen time and sedentary
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 associated with
technology
 use can lead to various
health
 issues, including obesity and mental
health
 issues. There are
also
 worries about the impact of social media on mental
health
, with some studies suggesting that excessive social media use can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Personally, I believe that
technology
 has largely been positive, but as with any tool, it depends on how it is used. It is important to strike a balance between utilizing the benefits of
technology
 and being aware of its potential negative effects.
For example
, people can set limits on their screen time or engage in
technology
-free activities to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by naifhlwani4 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score for Task Achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've discussed both views and given your opinion, integrating more specific examples and implications of these changes would enrich your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow between ideas with more varied and nuanced transition phrases. Additionally, consider a clearer distinction between the introduction, body, and conclusion to guide the reader through your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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