Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #benefit #cooperation #protection #environment #interest #world #business

It is considered by some individuals that global businesses should protect the

environment

for the benefit,

while

others claim to focus on their world business would be better.

However

, what I personally think is that they pay attention

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

works

for some reasons that I will elaborate on

Change preposition

in my

show examples

essay. On the one hand, proponents of

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

view insist that the

environment

is one of the most essential issues and we should protect it. The number of fires

are

Change the verb form

show examples

increasing day by day at an alarming rate

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the forests.

Therefore

, if companies

Add a missing verb

are interest

show examples

interest

Replace the word

interested

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

environment

this

is paid attention

Change preposition

to by

show examples

buyers. Companies’ products have the opportunity to sell

due to

agenda easily and

this

factor

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

to develop enterprises. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

this

situation will gain the majority of money for

firms

On the other hand

firms

should watch their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

for improvements. To be more specific, enterprises should promote their goods

instead

of to

interest

Replace the word

interested

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the

environment

For instance

, money can be allocated for promoting

merchandises

Fix the agreement mistake

merchandise

show examples

and

this

will provide popularity. Another point worth noting is that

firms

have the ability to route money for their

workforces’

Change noun form

workforce’s

show examples

health.

For instance

, they can yield

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

facilities for employees and

this

could better both corporations and staff.

To sum up

although

those who support the notable profit is to protect the

environment

for enterprises, whilst it is assisted by others that

firms

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

are more important.

However

, I advocate the view that working with companies

works

would be better.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Mar 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure. Begin with an introduction that clearly states the essay's topic and your opinion. Follow with coherent paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, supporting it with specific examples or explanations. Conclude with a summary of your points and restate your opinion.

task achievement

For achieving a better task achievement score, focus on directly addressing the essay prompt. Ensure that you discuss both views described in the prompt fully before stating your own opinion. Incorporate relevant examples to support your arguments, making them as specific and concrete as possible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

international cooperation
environmental protection
Paris Agreement
carbon emissions
climate change
biodiversity
shared responsibility
economic growth
free trade deals
economic partnerships
investment
innovation
technological advancement
sustainable practices
prosperity

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Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people say that history is not important. some say it is. describe both views.