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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that anyone can create art, such as painting, poetry, music, etc. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, art
is
Verb problem
has
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becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 more popular among young
people
Use synonyms
. Some think that anyone can be artistic, whilst others feel that not everyone has the abilities in art. In my opinion, I believe that a person must have natural
talent
Use synonyms
 so as to be artistic.
This
Linking Words
 is because
talent
Use synonyms
 is a natural ability that cannot be acquired.
Firstly
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 have the opinion that being excellent in arts can be possessed by anyone. They believe
this
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 because anyone can learn art and be good at it.
For example
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, a child who learns how to play
piano
Change the article
the piano
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 would be competent at it after several years.
As a result
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, the more he trains, the better he will be at piano playing.
Secondly
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, another group of
people
Use synonyms
 think that not everyone can be artistic. They claim that being artistic is a natural
talent
Use synonyms
 that cannot be learned.
For instance
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, a famous American singer Micheal Jackson was a talented dancer and singer. He started
sing
Change the form of the verb
singing
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 when he was a child and did not go to any singing academy.
However
Linking Words
, he became famous
since
Correct word choice
when
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 he was young, singing with his brothers in a group called ‘The Jacksons’. Personally, I believe to excel in arts, one must have the natural
talent
Use synonyms
 to be artistic. If he does not have the
talent
Use synonyms
, he
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not be able to improve in it. Even if he goes to an academy to study arts. Take
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 example, a famous actor in my country
claims
Correct pronoun usage
who claims
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 that he never
attends
Wrong verb form
attended
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 any acting schools in his entire life.
However
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, his acting is outstanding and natural.
Thus
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, he totally relies on his natural ability
in acting
Change preposition
to act
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. In conclusion, there is no doubt that to be an excellent artist, a person must have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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talent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
this
Linking Words
 could be learned.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I feel to be
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 superb
artistic
Replace the word
artist
show examples
, one must be born with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
talents.

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Introduction
Provide a clearer, more engaging introduction. Including a hook or a more detailed background can draw the reader in more effectively.
Supporting Details
Develop your paragraphs with more comprehensive detail. While you present your arguments, integrating more specific examples or even hypothetical situations can make your points more convincing and engaging.
Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to better link ideas and paragraphs together, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and reiterating your opinion more clearly. This reinforces the structure of your essay and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Task Response
Enhance your task achievement by addressing both sides of the argument more evenly. While it's clear you have a strong opinion, ensuring that both perspectives are explored thoroughly will strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal form of expression
  • inherent aspect
  • specialized skills
  • innate talent
  • specialized training
  • evokes deep emotions
  • resonates
  • folk art
  • street art
  • digital media
  • traditional institutions
  • formal education
  • groundbreaking contributions
  • rigorous training
  • profound art
  • inclusive activity
  • meaningful work
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