IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks. While others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they don’t do well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #universities #offer #places #students #marks #ages #don’t #school
Education
 indeed plays a crucial role in people's lives. Some say that a
university
education
 is only for those who get high
scores
 at their high school level
whereas
 others opine that should be permitted
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
students
 without
barriers
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 high academic
scores
 even if they get lower marks.
This
 essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand,
college
 studies are only the bright
students
 who master
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
 because finishing a
degree
 course is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easy task and they should put more effort during the
degree
 course, so bright learners can achieve and
study
in particular
 higher
education
 without getting any troubles because they already studied extraordinarily, and
as a result
, completing degrees without any errors.
For example
, the Indian MIT
University
 only provides enrollment for
students
 who got higher
scores
 in high school public examinations because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
students
 should be
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
brilliant to
study
 the hardest
education
. Needless to say,
having
Change preposition
by having
show examples
 good
scores
 learners can
study
 easily and get good
scores
 too.
On the other hand
, all
students
 should be enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
college
 studies because
education
 is a common aspect everyone should get that without any
barriers
, especially
it
Correct word choice
since it
show examples
 should not based on
scores
.
This
 means in-active pupils can
study
 well after joining
college
 through a quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 professional
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lectures.
In addition
, these days, the job market has
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a applicant should complete and attend any
degree
 courses, so a
university
education
 can determine their future career by getting
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary.
For instance
, in India, more than 60% of the unemployment ratio because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not have a
degree
 to get a job. Needless to say, all
students
 have a chance to
study
further
education
 after completing their high school without
barriers
 of
scores
.
To conclude
,
although
 bright
students
 only enter a
university
 because they can
study
 better without
fails
Correct subject-verb agreement
fail
show examples
, all
students
 have a chance to
enrolled
Wrong verb form
enrol
show examples
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
university
 because their future career will be determined by a
degree
.
However
, in my opinion, about
this
, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that all learners should
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
college
 studies without
barriers
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
scores
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To improve your score in task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly present your opinion and discuss both views in balance. Strengthen your argument by developing your ideas more thoroughly and incorporating a wider range of specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring logical flow and clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate and elaborate on different ideas. Utilize linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs, but avoid overuse or incorrect placement.
Coherence and Cohesion
To develop your ideas more effectively, dedicate more time to planning your essay. Outline your main points and think of specific examples or evidence to support each one. This will help create a more cohesive and convincing argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: