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Writing Samples /
Band 4

“Education is a critical element of the prosperity of any nation. The more educated people in a country are, the more successful their nation becomes.” Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this statement. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations.

#“education #element #prosperity #nation #people #country #support #point
Skilledd
Correct your spelling
Skilled
 workforce of
countries
 plays a pivotal role in
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
show examples
economy
.
However
, there is a debate about to which extent
this
 contributes to the
nations'
Correct your spelling
nation's
show examples
 wealth. I believe that high-quality
education
 is fundamental for the development of a
country
, as I would contend in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
contries'
Correct your spelling
countries'
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 is fundamental for training highly skilled workers.
This
 is
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
, by providing
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skilled training, the nation is supporting its inhabitants' careers
Correct word choice
and
show examples
but
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 creating long-term employment
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
 and
this
 supports the
overall
 economic development of the
country
. An example of
this
 is Germany which provides the citizens with free, high-quality university
eductation
Correct your spelling
education
 which in turn results in a better
economy
;
due to
 these
governamental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 policies its gross domestic product (GDP) is the highest among all the other European
countries
 which means
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 a wealthier
country
.
Together with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improved career prospects,
education
 fosters innovation and new technological discoveries. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 is that Universities hatch bubbling environments where students can focus on developing startup ventures and
this
 translates to
propserity
Correct your spelling
prosperity
 and future revenues for the
country
.
For instance
,
countries
such
 as
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 spend
Correct article usage
a significan
show examples
significan
Correct your spelling
significant
 amount of their national funding
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 research through the
education
 system,
resilting
Correct your spelling
resulting
 in improved opportunities for entrepreneurial activities. The
country
 indeed produces a high number of new technologies which is resourceful for the
overall
country
. In light of
this
, I assert that
education
 improves
countries
Replace the word
the country's
show examples
economy
.
This
 is because the training of skilled workers and innovation provide affluence to the
overall
 nation. In future,
governamental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 policies should support
education
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a higher degree to allow a
wealtier
Correct your spelling
wealthier
healthier
 long-term
economy
.
Submitted by g.marta2013 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction stating your overall view, followed by body paragraphs each presenting a distinct main point with relevant examples. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to maintain a logical flow.
Task Achievement
Revise your essay for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, particularly the correct spelling of 'countries', 'education', 'because', and 'resulting'. These errors can distract from your argument's clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument in a more fluid manner.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address the prompt by discussing both your agreement or disagreement with the statement, providing a balanced argument with clear, comprehensive examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • global market
  • social cohesion
  • political stability
  • civic responsibilities
  • good governance
  • equitable access
  • quality of education
  • relevancy
  • underemployment
  • labor market
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • vocational training
  • continuous education
  • economic stagnation
  • political unrest
  • social inequalities
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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