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Writing Samples
Band 4

Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

#coffee #tea #habits #five #cities #australia
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
coffee
 and tea consumed in the
last
 4 days in five different
cities
 in Australia (Sydney, Melbourn, Brisban,
Adelaide
,
Hobart
).
Overall
, what stands out from the chart is that going to a café to get a drink in
Adelaide
 is not as abundant as in other
cities
 in the country.
Furthermore
, the purchasing rate of instant
coffee
 was always higher than fresh
coffee
 throughout the period in question. Looking at the details, the consumption percentages in Sydney and Melbourne were almost identical.
While
 the percentage of Sydney’s café visits for tea and
coffee
 was around 61%, Melbourne’s was a bit higher nearly 64%.
Likewise
, the rate of instant
coffee
 was higher in Melbourne with roughly 45% and 48% respectively.
Additionally
, the percentage of fresh
coffee
 consumption was the same for both
cities
. In terms of remaining
cities
, as seen in the chart, tea and
coffee
 purchasing was the most popular in
Hobart
, followed by Brisbon and
Adelaide
 with approximately 39% and 52% respectively. At the same time, 53% of people in Brisbon and
Hobart
 chose to drink instant
coffee
, compared to
Adelaide
 with 50%.
Finally
, Brisban and
Adelaide
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similarity in fresh
coffee
 at 33%,
while
Hobart
 had 39% of people who chose fresh
coffee
.
Submitted by naira.gumar on

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Introduction
Begin your essay with a clearer introduction that not only describes the data source but also highlights the purpose of the analysis or what the chart represents in broader terms. This helps in setting a context for your analysis.
Conclusion
Introduce a conclusion paragraph that summarizes the main findings of your analysis. It provides closure to your essay and emphasizes the key points you've discussed.
Paragraph Organization
Organize your paragraphs more effectively by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or comparison. This will lead to a more logical flow of information.
Linking Words
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which enhances the reader's ability to follow your argument.
Comparative Analysis
Consider adding more comparative language and analysis, especially when discussing the differences or similarities between cities. This enhances the depth of your analysis and makes for a more engaging read.
Data Presentation
Be more precise and varied in your language when presenting percentages and data points to avoid repetition and make your essay more interesting to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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