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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the working
hours
Use synonyms
 for the Fire
service
Use synonyms
,
Police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
, Nurses, and Teachers per
week
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the table shows the information on the annual salary for 4 different occupations.
Overall
Linking Words
, nurses spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 working per
week
Use synonyms
 rather than in other occupations but the highest salary among the four jobs is
Police
Use synonyms
Service
Use synonyms
. Regarding
hours
Use synonyms
 worked per
week
Use synonyms
, Nurses use approximately 55
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 which is a higher
time
Use synonyms
 than other jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the fire
service
Use synonyms
 spent close to 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 working which is 4
hours
Use synonyms
 more
time
Use synonyms
 spent than the
police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 only 35
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the lowest
time
Use synonyms
 for working is for teachers close to 30
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
police
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 and fire
service
Use synonyms
 get annual salaries close to 50,000
pounds
Use synonyms
, which are 52,050
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 48,700
pounds
Use synonyms
,respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Nurse's and Teachers' salaries are only under 40,000
pounds
Use synonyms
, which are 37,450
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 33,600
pounds
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, service, police, week, time, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Occupations
  • Salaries
  • Working hours
  • Average
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Discrepancies
  • Professions
  • Doctors
  • Teachers
  • Engineers
  • Retail workers
  • Balanced
  • High-paying
  • Low-paying
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