Some people think that going to a fitness centers regularly is unnecessary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exercise (such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The
necessities
of working out is readily apparent to people. Fix the agreement mistake
necessity
Due to
diverse ways of exercising, the manner of doing is point
of contention. Despite Add an article
the point
a point
of
increasing the number of gyms, Change preposition
apply
non-necessity
of going to Correct your spelling
the necessity
sport center
is advocated for being healthy. By considering all Fix the agreement mistake
sports centers
opposite
aspects of Correct article usage
the opposite
gym
, Correct article usage
the gym
this
essay discusses my proponent of its benefits.
In terms of importance
of diet, is that it plays a vital factor in decreasing mortality. The rate of heart attack and blood pressure has Add an article
the importance
been
skyrocketed, and doctors highly Unnecessary verb
apply
recommends
assigning a reasonable proportion of time to Change the verb form
recommend
exercising
and dieting. Change the verb form
exercise
In addition
, in order to encourage everybody, the government establish
some Wrong verb form
established
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
and pathways in park
. In spite of free Add an article
the park
facilities
, the careless usage damages them, and also
, they are not standardized for every body
. Correct your spelling
everybody
For instance
, some sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
, which was
iron, have been set up by Tehran mayor, but they are too cold to utilize them, so these can hurt a body and jeopardize health.
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
On the other hand
, as it was mentioned before, there are plethora
of gyms and coaches, which can ameliorate Add an article
a plethora
bodies
health. They can Change the noun form
body
equip
with standard equipment and provide a fitness plan. The ways of its improvements are not just based on Wrong verb form
be equipped
practicing
, it would inculcate working out into individuals. To put it differently, because of paying Change the spelling
practising
fee
, everyone feels obligated to do it regularly. Fix the agreement mistake
fees
Moreover
, it has been assessed that working out socially would be more beneficial than individually. For example
, studying at home and library
are two possible ways, Correct article usage
the library
however
, library
can incentivize students to study efficiently.
Add an article
the library
a library
To sum up
, the significant point of healthy
body is cognization of the way of doing it. In Add an article
a healthy
this
era, there are lots of manners to avoid multitude
of Add an article
a multitude
the multitude
disease
. Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
centers
have been established to meet their needs in Change the spelling
centres
this
aspect. Due to
many pros of gyms, such
as incentivizing, obligation, and standard facilities
, individual
could prioritize it as a manner of fitness.Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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Task Achievement
To strengthen your essay, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main argument or stance on the issue. This sets a solid foundation for the reader.
Task Achievement
It's important to directly address the prompt. Consider both perspectives (the necessity of gyms vs. the effectiveness of occasional exercise and diet) more distinctly, stating your position clearly.
Task Achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Think about including personal anecdotes, statistics, or studies that solidify your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point. This enhances readability and helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion sums up your argument and reiterates your stance concisely. This gives a strong finish to your essay.