IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries even though the rate of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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Introduction
Although
Linking Words
, the highest number of crimes
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 experienced a decrease .
Individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
 still
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
 that they
are still
Verb problem
were
show examples
not
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 because of the high-tech and to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that situation by giving them education.
Body · 1
Fundamentally, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a bad experience
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
happening
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 there is a bad guy who uses the
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 for bad things.
For instance
Linking Words
, Amelia put their
smartphones
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the counter,
when
Correct word choice
and when
show examples
 she got
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 back they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not realize that her smartphone already
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
hacking
Wrong verb form
hacked
show examples
 by people who did not responsibilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a bad impact too our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Body · 2
Subsequent to that, they have to give
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 by giving
seminar
Add an article
a seminar
the seminar
show examples
 or a kind of
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
 that can teach them how to deal with that situation. In one of the
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 that I found in the
newpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
treatment and give some
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 to control their stress management
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reduce
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
 thinking.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the people who live in some countries have to deal
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 do not worry about anything
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they already have
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
,
governance
Correct word choice
and governance
show examples
 to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 own countries.

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should outline the main points you will discuss. Each body paragraph should discuss a separate point, and your conclusion should summarize your arguments.
coherence
Work on logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Using connecting words (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) can help make your essay more cohesive.
task response
Focus on directly answering the essay question. Clearly state the causes and solutions for the problem in the introduction, then elaborate on these in the body paragraphs.
examples
Use specific examples to support your main points. This makes your essay more convincing and engaging. Avoid general statements without concrete evidence.
grammar/vocabulary
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Aim for variety in your sentence structures and accuracy in your word choice to convey your ideas more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • public fear
  • sensationalized
  • media literacy
  • perception
  • social tensions
  • economic inequality
  • instability
  • prevention
  • community policing
  • public awareness
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • urban density
  • political rhetoric
What to do next:
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