In some countries even though the rate of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #rate #crimes #people #measures

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Although

Linking Words

, the highest number of crimes

Verb problem

has

show examples

experienced a decrease .

Individual

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Individuals

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still

though

Correct your spelling

thought

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that they

are still

Verb problem

were

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not

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

because of the high-tech and to tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that situation by giving them education. Fundamentally, there

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been a bad experience

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

happening

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

techology

Correct your spelling

technology

Whereas

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there is a bad guy who uses the

techology

Correct your spelling

technology

for bad things.

For instance

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, Amelia put their

smartphones

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphone

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the counter,

when

Correct word choice

and when

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she got

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them

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back they

Wrong verb form

did

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not realize that her smartphone already

have

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has

show examples

been

hacking

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hacked

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by people who did not responsibilities.

Therefore

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The

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apply

show examples

technology

have

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has

show examples

a bad impact too our

life

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lives

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. Subsequent to that, they have to give

a knowledge

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knowledge

a piece of knowledge

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by giving

seminar

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a seminar

the seminar

show examples

or a kind of

studying

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study

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that can teach them how to deal with that situation. In one of the

country

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countries

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that I found in the

newpapers

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newspapers

that

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apply

show examples

they

giving

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give

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

treatment and give some

advices

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advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

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to control their stress management

for

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show examples

reduce

negatif

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negative

thinking. In conclusion, the people who live in some countries have to deal

and

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with and

show examples

do not worry about anything

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they already have

policy

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policies

show examples

governance

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and governance

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to take care

their

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of their

show examples

own countries.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Mar 04 2024

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coherence

Work on logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Using connecting words (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) can help make your essay more cohesive.

task response

Focus on directly answering the essay question. Clearly state the causes and solutions for the problem in the introduction, then elaborate on these in the body paragraphs.

examples

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grammar/vocabulary

Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Aim for variety in your sentence structures and accuracy in your word choice to convey your ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

190 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
public fear
sensationalized
media literacy
perception
social tensions
economic inequality
instability
prevention
community policing
public awareness
mental health
anxiety
urban density
political rhetoric

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

In some countries even though the rate of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?