Some believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Allegedly,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competitions
and their effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
youths
'
lives
are given significant attention. Many individuals believe that
youths
should be banned from participating in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competitions
, so
as a
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
they give additional emotional
stress
. I agree
youths
should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
their mental well-being, and some
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
races may disrupt their mental health, but
engage
Wrong verb form
engaging
show examples
in
competitions
can
edeavour
Correct your spelling
encourage
them to be more
contious
Correct your spelling
conscious
about
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
issues. On the one hand, in today's
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
show examples
, students suffer from anxiety in many circumstances and one of them is in the
sport
competition. They want to acquire golden medals and they allocate most of their time to achieve
this
goal.
For instance
, many juveniles from all over the world attempt to enter
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
games.
Additionally
, they
practice
extensively
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and strive to cope with
their
Change the word
the
show examples
pressures during their days.
Therefore
, many of these young athletes not only suffer from depression,
stress
, and helplessness, but they
also
cannot handle their school lessons. In fact, they should stabilize their mental well-being before engaging
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
competition, because mental health
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a pivotal role in students'
lives
.
On the other hand
, juveniles should
practice
a lot in competition occasions, and discover appropriate strategies to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
stress
due to
the fact that they might confront
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other pressures in their future
lives
.
For instance
, either they must seize career opportunities and compete with other employees, or they have to pass university entrance exams.
Therefore
, they must improve their
mind-set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
and
practice
a lot to manage their
stress
in
such
situations. In conclusion, coaches have considerable responsibility to
practice
with young athletes and improve their brain performance in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competitions
, not ban them.
In addition
,
such
competitions
encourage
youths
to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant performance in their future
lives
, so they should learn many tricks to perform better in stressful positions.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present at the end of the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively by expanding on the details and implications of each point.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a wider range of linking devices and paragraphing strategies to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points; real-life cases or studies can enhance your arguments significantly.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and ensure your essay follows a clear and consistent tense throughout.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional stress
  • Young athletes
  • High-pressure environments
  • Resilience
  • Discipline
  • Teamwork
  • Supportive coaching
  • Adequate rest
  • Personal growth
  • Structured competition
  • Goals
  • Manage failure
  • Celebrate achievements
  • Personal development
  • Mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!