IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
#centre #paris #company #restaurant #area #two #locations
The
map
 illustrates
center
Add an article
the center
show examples
 of Paris
the
Rephrase
where the
show examples
 company wants to open
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expect the location of
this
restaurant
.
Overall
.in the south of the
mape
Correct your spelling
map
 is the Eiffel Tower is the
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
place
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
map
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
 common to other places
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
map
. In the south of the
map
 or the left of
Add an article
the bank
a bank
show examples
bank
Add a comma
bank,
show examples
 there are 4  places I will start
with
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
this
place
 because if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have free time they
are going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to west time with good things more over the write of
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is the Eiffel Tower the majority of people
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
this
place
 to
taking
Change the form of the verb
take
show examples
 pictures next to
this
place
 is the
restaurant
 flowed by behind the
restaurant
 is the park
Add the comma(s)
, however,
show examples
however
 the
last
 one in
this
 direction is
art
Add an article
an art
show examples
 gallery and in the middle of
this
map
 is river Seine and
debliy
Correct your spelling
debility
deploy
 footbridge others side of
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 of
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
 are two bridges
Firest
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
 one is Lena and the second
isnot
Correct your spelling
is not
isn't
 far from first one it is Bri Hakem bridge and bri hakem station In the north of
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
 in the west of it is the second
restaurant
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 who expect the
place
 in the future
however
 in the north of the
map
 there is the second park and in the east of
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
 is the aquarium
that is
 for fish and the
last
 thing is A maritime museum is north of the parks
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, restaurant, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 9 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: