IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that immigrating to other countries is a positive development. Do you agree or disagree with that?

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Immigration
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 has become
quiet
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quite
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 popular in the recent past. Many people
recon
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reckon
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 that relocating to other countries brings about positive impacts. I agree that
immigration
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 contributes positively to growth and development as is demonstrated
on
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in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Immigration
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 has a positive influence on the host
country
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.
For example
Linking Words
, many people have moved to
Australia
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 from Kenya either for
further
Linking Words
 studies or for job opportunities.
This
Linking Words
 has in turn promoted the economy of the
country
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 since they have access to people with different skills that are essential to them.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Australia
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's growth and development rate continues to rise and many of their skilled shortages are being filled up by the immigrants. In fact, research has shown that immigrants are the main
contributers
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contributors
of
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to
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Australia
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's economy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, migrating to a different
country
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 exposes one to new opportunities and experiences that
otherwise
Linking Words
 would not have been possible in their own
country
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, moving to a
Add a hyphen
first-world
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first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
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country
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such
Linking Words
 as
Australia
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 opens you up to a world of new possibilities and in turn, you are able to gain better experiences and exposure not just in your career or study but,
also
Linking Words
 in
social
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apply
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your social
aspect
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aspects
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 of life.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, upon returning to their
country
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, immigrants
also
Linking Words
 have a better chance of improving their own
country
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's development through the
knowldge
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knowledge
 and skills acquired
while
Linking Words
 abroad. Undoubtedly,
immigration
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 plays a crucial role in the advancement of both the host
country
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 and the individual.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is essential to advocate for
immigration
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.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured introduction and a clear conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your position. Adding these elements will make your argument stronger and more coherent.
Linking & Paragraphing
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by examples or reasons.
Task Response & Examples
Although you have provided some examples to support your arguments, to enhance the task achievement score, make sure to include more detailed and specific examples. Additionally, directly addressing the prompt by stating your agreement or disagreement more explicitly throughout the essay would also be beneficial.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • economic contributor
  • environmental impact
  • cultural erosion
  • infrastructure
  • overtourism
  • global perspective
  • socio-economic implications
  • career opportunities
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