Some people think that immigrating to other countries is a positive development. Do you agree or disagree with that?

#people #countries #development

Immigration

has become

quiet

Correct your spelling

quite

show examples

popular in the recent past. Many people

recon

Correct your spelling

reckon

show examples

that relocating to other countries brings about positive impacts. I agree that

immigration

contributes positively to growth and development as is demonstrated

Change preposition

show examples

this

essay.

Firstly

Immigration

has a positive influence on the host

country

For example

, many people have moved to

Australia

from Kenya either for

further

studies or for job opportunities.

This

has in turn promoted the economy of the

country

since they have access to people with different skills that are essential to them.

Thus

Australia

's growth and development rate continues to rise and many of their skilled shortages are being filled up by the immigrants. In fact, research has shown that immigrants are the main

contributers

Correct your spelling

contributors

Change preposition

show examples

Australia

's economy.

Secondly

, migrating to a different

country

exposes one to new opportunities and experiences that

otherwise

would not have been possible in their own

country

For instance

, moving to a

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

first world

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

country

such

Australia

opens you up to a world of new possibilities and in turn, you are able to gain better experiences and exposure not just in your career or study but,

also

social

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

your social

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

of life.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, upon returning to their

country

, immigrants

also

have a better chance of improving their own

country

's development through the

knowldge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and skills acquired

while

abroad. Undoubtedly,

immigration

plays a crucial role in the advancement of both the host

country

and the individual.

Thus

, it is essential to advocate for

immigration

Submitted by vkisiero on Mon Mar 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your essay would benefit from a more structured introduction and a clear conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your position. Adding these elements will make your argument stronger and more coherent.

Linking & Paragraphing

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by examples or reasons.

Task Response & Examples

Although you have provided some examples to support your arguments, to enhance the task achievement score, make sure to include more detailed and specific examples. Additionally, directly addressing the prompt by stating your agreement or disagreement more explicitly throughout the essay would also be beneficial.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

affordability
accessibility
cultural exchange
global connectivity
economic contributor
environmental impact
cultural erosion
infrastructure
overtourism
global perspective
socio-economic implications
career opportunities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
An increasing number of professional, such as doctors an teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in develop countries. What problems does this cause? what can be done to deal with this situation?
Recently, the issue towards brain drain phenomenon has triggered a deep concern in some countries who is below the poverty line. The mentioned matter leads to the local professionals’ shortage, which further by addressing wages and incentives improvement should be able to overcome the subject. In my view, an immediate action should be done in promptly manners.
5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.
Travelling to remote areas is increasingly becoming popular among humans. Although sometimes it could be entirely disastrous, people really enjoy a lot visiting treacherous places.
5.5
band
The topic is to describe the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment statuses based on the provided bar chart. The chart categorizes leisure time by full-time employment, part-time employment, unemployment, retirement, and housewives for the years 1998-1999. The task is to write a report for a university lecturer, summarizing the information shown in the chart in at least 150 words.
The bar chart illustrates the average weekly leisure time enjoyed by men and women across different employment statuses during the years 1998-1999. The categories include full-time employed, part-time employed, unemployed, retired, and housewives. Overall, it is evident that men generally had more leisure time than women in most categories, with the exception of part-time employment and housewives, where data for men is either absent or negligible.
5
band
The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether people should use social media and take advantage of it, especially when using social media for communication outweighs this is a recurring argument. This writer argues that the benefits of using social platforms to avoid taking advantage outweigh the drawbacks of the laziness of going outside.
7
band
Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v
These days, people's lifestyles are so varied from the past, and we can see the young generations who study at universities choose their interactions at extra-curricular like clubs, sports times and so on. While spending time on university activities has several demerits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the benefits.

Some people think that immigrating to other countries is a positive development. Do you agree or disagree with that?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

An increasing number of professional, such as doctors an teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in develop countries. What problems does this cause? what can be done to deal with this situation?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v