Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
some people are of the opinion that
children
should obey their parents and teachers, others believe that would be useful
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
their freedom by not taking so much control which will allow them to learn
in solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
their
life
problems. In my point of view, I am more inclined to believe that
children
are still in the stage that
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
olders
Correct your spelling
older
assistance and directions but too strict rules may have
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
adverse influence on the
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
abilities
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
.
This
essay will break down the differences between
these two point
Change the determiner
this two point
these two points
show examples
of view.
Children
are the ones
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
are still
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the learning stage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
life
. Less
control
Replace the word
controlled
show examples
parenting way may lead to harmful
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
in the future
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
's behaviour. Youngsters might
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
behaviours that they do if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no adults
remind
Correct pronoun usage
who remind
show examples
them
on
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of
show examples
their deeds.
For example
,
children
should be
thought
Verb problem
taught
show examples
to show good manners and respect others, which are crucial things in adult
life
.
In contrast
, if there is no one
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
them how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will
be causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
them
crossing
Change the verb form
to cross
show examples
the boundaries.
Consequently
, they may not understand how to socialise with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and even have
a bad habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad habits
a bad habit
show examples
as growing older.
On the other hand
, sometimes, regulation may have a good
influece
Correct your spelling
influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
as it is essential
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them to learn from a very young age. Parents and teachers have a
substancial
Correct your spelling
substantial
role in developing their
behavious
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviour
, shaping
into
Correct pronoun usage
them into
show examples
Correct article usage
a well-behave
show examples
well-behave
Correct your spelling
well-behaved
show examples
and well-ethically
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. To elaborate,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
learning evaluation association
Correct your spelling
Learning Evaluation Association
show examples
shows that 51%
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
accross
Correct your spelling
across
the world are more likely to become successful and well-mannered owing to the habit of following the rules and implementing guidance given
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
their mentors and parents.
Furthermore
,
children
will
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
more
dicipline
Correct your spelling
disciplined
discipline
and aware of the consequences of their bad behaviours. Growing up with
affections
Fix the agreement mistake
affection
show examples
and supportive directions within certain limits, yet still
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
them
deciding
Change the verb form
to decide
show examples
their choice,
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
youngsters to have great control ability of themselves in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In summary,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
should be guided by regulations on many occasions since they still cannot regulate themselves.
This
should
be follow
Change the verb form
be followed
show examples
by still giving them a free place which
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
them to explore new things and give them a chance to resolve the obstacles of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced discussion of both views and a clearer personal opinion. Use relevant examples to support your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance Coherence and Cohesion by improving your essay's logical structure. Use clear paragraphing and cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs. Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly respond to the essay prompt.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Autonomy
  • Independency
  • Creativity
  • Conformity
  • Rebelliousness
  • Maturation
  • Guidance
  • Cognitive development
  • Protector
  • Evaluator
  • Boundaries
  • Negotiation
  • Empowerment
  • Self-discipline
  • Regulatory guidelines
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptation
  • Socio-emotional skills
  • Decision-making process
  • Moral compass
  • Real-world challenges
  • Controlled environment
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