Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate regarding what kind of
parents
is good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
children
. Some people contend that
parents
make
rules
related
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
, the coming back home time in
household
Add an article
the household
show examples
. It is helpful for their kids to live themselves in the future.
On the other hand
, some people assert those
rules
just make
children
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress and it could cause conflicts with their
parents
. The person who argues
children
should obey
rules
in the household and schools finds that the
children
are immature yet so they are easy to confuse whether what is wrong
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
right, especially in school.
For example
, they think they need a talk with their kids about when will come back home or did
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
housechores
Correct your spelling
house chores
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some people argue that making
rules
will encourage
children
to be
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
. It is important to meet
freiends
Correct your spelling
friends
or
do
Verb problem
play
show examples
computer games at that
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
but if they can not do that because of following
parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
show examples
rules
.
Although
some basic
rules
for their safe life are needed and essential, I think it is
also
imperative to give some freedom to
children
. I will explain why I think that. First off, when the child grows up, they need something to follow basically. If the
parents
allow their kids all of
things
Correct determiner usage
these things
show examples
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulty
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
a habit for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
when they look for a job. In my opinion, I believe the
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
still need to be protected by external
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
. they have a right not only
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
provided safe environment but
also
are
respected
Wrong verb form
respect
show examples
their notion.
Hence
, I think
parents
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
ought to be too
restrict
Replace the word
restrictive
show examples
but it is essential.
Submitted by heoeunsae on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Work on a clearer and more engaging introduction that clearly presents the topic and your stance. This could include providing a hook and a thesis statement to guide the reader.
Logical Structure
Ensure that you present a clear, logical structure by organizing your essay into defined paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs (for each view and your opinion), and a conclusion. This helps improve the logical flow and coherence.
Supported Main Points
In body paragraphs, make your main points clearer by starting each paragraph with a topic sentence. Then, expand on these points with more specific examples and explanations to support your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should summarise the main points discussed and restate your opinion in a clear manner. Take this opportunity to leave a lasting impact on the reader.
Complete Response
To achieve a complete response, ensure you discuss both views equally and provide a detailed explanation of your opinion. Back up your opinion with specific reasons and examples.
Relevant, Specific Examples
Try to include more specific, detailed examples to support your arguments. These examples make your points more convincing and easier for the reader to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Autonomy
  • Independency
  • Creativity
  • Conformity
  • Rebelliousness
  • Maturation
  • Guidance
  • Cognitive development
  • Protector
  • Evaluator
  • Boundaries
  • Negotiation
  • Empowerment
  • Self-discipline
  • Regulatory guidelines
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptation
  • Socio-emotional skills
  • Decision-making process
  • Moral compass
  • Real-world challenges
  • Controlled environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: