Some people say that children should play games which require teamwork such as football and basketball whereas, some think they should be doing individual sports such as swimming and running. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whilst some argue that
children
Use synonyms
should play
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as basketball and football, others say that they should participate in individual
sports
Use synonyms
namely: swimming and running. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
assessment and believe that
children
Use synonyms
should be encouraged to play
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
, putting
children
Use synonyms
in an environment where they can collaborate and win against another
team
Use synonyms
gives them a euphoric feeling never experienced in individual
sports
Use synonyms
, and, working
together with
Linking Words
their peers can broaden their social circle and enhance their interpersonal skills. The common feature that all employers need from employees is for them to work in a
team
Use synonyms
seamlessly, instilling the ability to work in a
team
Use synonyms
from a young age, will turn these
children
Use synonyms
into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-rounded
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. These adults are
also
Linking Words
less likely to be anxious when communicating with new people.
For example
Linking Words
, in the
worldof
Correct your spelling
world of
football, Messi is the most legendary player,
while
Linking Words
he worked incredibly hard for his success, the important thing which
diffrentiated
Correct your spelling
differentiated
differentiates
differentiate
him from the rest in his field is his ability to seamlessly interact with players from his
team
Use synonyms
, assess their shortcomings and change his playstyle to help the
team
Use synonyms
, from a very young age he was a
team
Use synonyms
player which carried his success.
Secondly
Linking Words
, meeting and interacting with new people is cumbersome, but working with peers from diverse backgrounds can broaden one's social circle and
also
Linking Words
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
this
Linking Words
process simple.
For instance
Linking Words
, Dhoni the captain of the cricket
team
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
India, claimed that his work as a captain was not to boss people around, but rather to ensure other teammates would communicate with each other, and to foster a sense of unity and brotherhood among the
team
Use synonyms
members to achieve their goals. In conclusion,
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
teach valuable skills
such
Linking Words
as communication, teamwork, and fostering a sense of unity and cooperation
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
individual
sports
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by duttpavan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay directly and fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay should have a clear position throughout the response, not just in the conclusion, and make sure that you consistently develop your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim for a more logical structure by making more clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using a variety of linking words can help make the progression of your argument easier to follow. Ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea will also strengthen this aspect.
Language
Try to provide more variety in your sentence structures to increase the readability of your essay and to demonstrate your linguistic capabilities. Avoid repetition of phrases and aim for a diverse vocabulary to make your arguments more persuasive and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • social skills
  • self-reliance
  • goal setting
  • pressure
  • unity
  • cooperation
  • social anxieties
  • interpersonal skills
  • personal achievement
  • diverse groups
  • encouraging
  • stressful
  • broaden
  • instill
  • directly linked
  • competitive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: