These days, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is generally claimed that having chats with
friends
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can be best achieved through the internet.
As a result
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,
socialise
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online is more popular than
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face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
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. I personally agree with the idea that
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socialise
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
online is a positive
development
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.
Furthermore
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, I will explain in
this
Linking Words
essay,
I
Correct pronoun usage
what I
show examples
believe
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
this
Linking Words
situation
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
mine
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
reason. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that
people
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want to
use
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the internet to
socialise
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. With the rapid growth of science and technology, more and more
people
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choosing to make
friends
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online.
This
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is easier than before.
For instance
Linking Words
, before when one wanted to talk with one’s
friends
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, they could
use
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pens and paper to write letters. Because
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
is complex and cumbersome,
people
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invest lots of time in
this
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thing. Not only was it slow but
also
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unsafety. Because they maybe just wrote one wrong number or litter with the address.
Therefore
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, their
friends
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could not get the letter. Nowadays,
people
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communicate with others just
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
their fingers and mobile phone
Consequently
Linking Words
, using online
socialise
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is more popular, quicker and easier than before.
While
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socialising
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face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
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makes
people
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feel more intimate, there are some important reasons to agree with the idea that choosing to
socialise
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online is a positive
development
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. In the past, when we did
works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
, we
must
Verb problem
had
show examples
to get to the scene. But, now we can do it online.
For example
Linking Words
, we could not go to school and work during COVID-19, we just could stay at home, we wanted to learn more knowledge and make more
friends
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
impossibility
Add an article
an impossibility
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, we can
use
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APPs to finish our study and work.
As a result
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, using socialising online is a positive
development
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. In conclusion, it is generally believed that nowadays we choose to
socialise
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online
due to
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it is easier and quicker than before.
In addition
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, I believe socialising online can make our lives easier so it is a positive
development
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure consisting of an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be developed logically.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Clearly address both parts of the question. Discuss why more people are choosing to socialise online and then clearly state if you think this is a positive or negative development, providing reasons for your opinion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. This adds credibility to your essay and helps the reader understand your points better.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and persuasively. This will greatly improve the coherence of the essay and help achieve a better score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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