Children should stay at school before 18. Agree or Disagree?
Children
should remain in school
until they are 18 years old. I firmly agree with this
statement and believe that a formal education
is crucial for a child's cognitive development, and extending it to 18 ensures an all-round development, furthermore
, staying in school
until 18 protects them from societal pressure and harmful influences.
A formal education
ensures a child is apt at taking problems head on
Add a hyphen
head-on
,
when presented in the real Remove the comma
apply
world
, also
, basic mathematics, science, and social science are used by people every day in the real world
. These formatives
years of a child are crucial for distilling those necessary skills. At the same time, remaining in Change the noun form
formative
school
till 18 ensure that the foundation built upon during the previous years is carried forward and better prepares them for a
higher Remove the article
apply
education
or the job market. For example
, a study conducted by Department
of Correct article usage
the Department
Education
in the USA,
found Remove the comma
apply
out
that students who passed out of high Change preposition
apply
school
were highly likely to have better future prospects than those who dropped out.
Secondly
, school
is not only a safe haven for learning,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a place where children
are safe from the outside hellish world
. Many teenagers who have dropped out of schooling, have turned towards harmful influences like drugs and alcohol, furthermore
, the pressure that students face either from their parents or teachers after dropping out of schooling
is unfathomable. Replace the word
school
For instance
, we talk about the successful dropouts who have built billion dollar
companies, but Add a hyphen
billion-dollar
children
who have dropped out of schooling, according to
a study conducted by Department
of Correct article usage
the Department
Education
, turn toward illegal activities namely: prostitution, gambling, and selling illicit drugs, they also
make up one-third of the global smokers, according to
another study conducted by World
Health Organization.
In conclusion, remaining in school
till 18 helps children
steer clear of negative influences, and, also
massively helps them in attaining success with further
opportunities in higher education
or the job market.Submitted by duttpavan on
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task response
Try to develop a clear thesis statement in your introduction to give a strong guidance for your essay. Your stance should be immediately clear to the reader.
task response
While your main points are relevant, aim to further elaborate on them with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay is logically structured by clearly separating your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the connectivity between your ideas using more diverse and effective transitional phrases. This will help in making the progression of your argument smoother and clearer.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?