Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree. #people #

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #disease

No doubt, atmosphere pollution and home

problems

are growing day by day. Some people believe that it is

Correct article usage

the responsibilty

show examples

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

authority to take

farward

Correct your spelling

forward

steps to deteriorate these pressing

problems

to overcome physical health

problems

which are

provking

Correct your spelling

provoking

proving

due to

them. In my assertion, it is not only the duty of public

sctor

Correct your spelling

sector

however

, the role of society members is

also

crucial to curb

this

problem.

to begin

with, there are innumerable significant reasons of

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

environmental pollution and housing

problems

Manyy

Correct your spelling

Many

of the

problems

are rising because of

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lifestyles. To be more precise,

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

extensive use of vehicles,

use

Correct article usage

the use

show examples

of plastic bags and bottles to carry things,

carbon

Correct word choice

and carbon

show examples

footwears

Fix the agreement mistake

footwear

show examples

are all major

source

Fix the agreement mistake

sources

show examples

of depleting the ozone layer rapidly. In order that,

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

man-made pollution

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

germane to massive physical ailments. A stand out example regarding it, everyone at one home has

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

transport to travel, which produces

life threatening

Add a hyphen

life-threatening

show examples

smoke and

making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

our atmosphere more harmful.

Moreover

, household

problems

to eradicate personal diseases

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unable without the

individaual

Correct your spelling

individual

personal

will power

Correct your spelling

willpower

show examples

. To some

extent

Add a comma

extent,

show examples

non-profit organizations can help them if someone

is belong

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

undepriviliged

Correct your spelling

underprivileged

family background,

although

the awareness about the problem

is hinges

Change the verb form

hinges

show examples

themselevs

Correct your spelling

themselves

To conclude

, there is no

possibilty

Correct your spelling

possibility

to control both drastic environmental and physical

problems

with the support of any single person or public sector. The

assistence

Correct your spelling

assistance

of both

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

required simultaneously.

Otherwise

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all efforts will be futile to stop

such

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

issues.

Submitted by amnamunir764 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion, but it could benefit from clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas. Consider expanding on each point with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. It will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structures. This will aid in enhancing clarity and making your arguments more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree. #people #

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.