IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

the following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the sun

the following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the sun
#greenhouse #gases #trap #energy #sun
The combination
between
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of
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 both man-made and natural
diagram
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diagrams
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 illustrates how solar energy is captured by
green house
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greenhouse
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 gases.
Overall
, it is
obviously
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obvious
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 how
this
 process involved two crucial
stage
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stages
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 which
are
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is
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 the
releasth
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release
 co2 in many industrial activities and the journey that the solar
radition
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radiation
go
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goes
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 through. Right at the
beggining
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beginning
, it is revealed there are consist of several elements
contribute
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that contribute
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 to the releath of carbon dioxide
into
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in
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Correct article usage
the atmostphere
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atmostphere
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atmosphere
 which are the result of
combusion
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the combusion
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 of fossil fuel in many
factory
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factories
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 combined with gases from vehicles received
much
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apply
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from
car
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cars
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 and
truck
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trucks
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.Following to the next step where deforestation is occuring and destroy many
tree
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trees
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contain
Wrong verb form
containing
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co2
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CO2
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. Eventually,the solar radiation land into the
earth
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earth's
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surfacce
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surface
 and warm it up.As
the
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a
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 result of heating,
the
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apply
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 greenhouse gases emit infrared
rediation
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radiation
 for the purpose of avoiding it from trapping directly into the air.meanwhile,the remaining radiations reflected into space
as well as
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atmosphere
atmospheric
atmostpher
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atmosphere
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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