Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Hello
Add the punctuation
Hello,
show examples
my name is Murad. I like travelling and doing my best. I always ignore the taboos of government Convivial Vivacity Revive Survive Vivid imagination Posterity Posthumous Postbellum Postdoctoral Posthumously Post-mortem Ambivalent Ambivalence Ambient Ambiance Ambiguity Ambiguous Ambidextrous Magnitude Magnify Magnum Magnificent Magnanimous Juxtaposition Impose Expose Transpose Induce Conducive Induct
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay does not address the given topic about the debate on banning dangerous sports versus freedom in choosing sports activities. It's essential to focus on the task and develop relevant arguments and examples related to it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay does not follow a logical structure or present clear arguments related to the topic. To improve, consider using an introduction to present the debate, followed by paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion summarizing your opinion.
Task Achievement
The content provided does not support any main points regarding the topic of dangerous sports. It's crucial to include arguments and examples that specifically address both sides of the debate and articulate your own standpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: