IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that higher
education
Use synonyms
 institutions should separate their
students
Use synonyms
 by
gender
Use synonyms
, in order to enhance their learning process. I strongly disagree with
such
Linking Words
measure
Correct article usage
a measure
show examples
, since it could widen the
gender
Use synonyms
 gap in
education
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe that every student should be taught equally, regardless of their
gender
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 has been considered a privilege for everybody, but most importantly, for
women
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
 Channel, the right for females to access
such
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 was permitted only until 1960,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they proved to their male peers that they were capable of learning the same topics
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at the same as them. Having
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 mixed classrooms
reinforce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reinforces
show examples
 the idea of seeing each classmate for their values, and certainly prevents male classmates
to fall
Change preposition
from falling
show examples
 into pre
coinceved
Correct your spelling
conceived
 notions of separate
education
Use synonyms
 as a form of being superior to
women
Use synonyms
. To exemplify,
this
Linking Words
 has been a common scenario in fields
such
Linking Words
 as STEM areas, where the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 is clearly lower than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 a recent study made
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 Sociology department of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard University,
women
Use synonyms
 who were separated for classes in careers
such
Linking Words
 as mathematics or engineering, felt discriminated
by
Change preposition
against by
show examples
 their peers afterwards, and it underscored the idea that
women
Use synonyms
 'needed' some kind of special help for learning.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 created a breach or area that divided
students
Use synonyms
 studying in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 major, where
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 deemed their counterparts as 'unsuitable' for
such
Linking Words
 careers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the process of learning should be equal
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everybody, whether they are man or
women
Use synonyms
. We are all human beings, with particular
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
, and different ways of approaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
certain subjects. To classify our method for learning by
gender
Use synonyms
 would certainly
dialed
Change the verb form
dial
show examples
 back the progress that generations of
women
Use synonyms
 have fought for.
According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
 a recent article (written by VOX in 2020) classes that have mixed bodies of
students
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 to acquire more knowledge, and it
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 spaces for dialogue and discussion.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of setting fostered them with a perspective and understanding of the real world and workplaces, where both
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are employed and treated the same.
To conclude
Linking Words
, whether universities
aims
Correct subject-verb agreement
aim
show examples
 to hone
students
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
 by dividing them
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 genders for lessons,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
. As it could widen the current
gender
Use synonyms
 gap existing in various degrees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 is a human right, and it needs to be provided equally, in order to construct more diverse and open societies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear, logical introduction that presents the topic and your stance clearly. The introduction should guide the reader into the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Increase the range of linking words to enhance the flow of ideas. This could include contrastive (however, on the other hand) and additive (furthermore, in addition) expressions.
task achievement
Support your arguments with a wider variety of examples. While historical and sociological examples are used, consider also contemporary, real-world examples that illustrate your points.
general
Proofread to catch and correct minor errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation. This will enhance the professional quality of your essay.
general
Consider ending with a forward-looking statement or a broader implication of your argument, to give a memorable closing to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-gender education
  • coeducational
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • social dynamics
  • learning styles
  • cognitive differences
  • participation rates
  • diverse workplaces
  • educational outcomes
  • psychological implications
  • empirical evidence
  • inclusivity
  • reinforcement of gender roles
  • gender-segregated
What to do next:
Look at other essays: