IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

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Balanced
Correct article usage
A balanced
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diet
Use synonyms
 and exercise are the two pivotal habits for a healthy life. The enormous work-related stress and
oversumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
 of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 it difficult to eat a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 regularly.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on the factors which promote unhealthy eating, providing some solutions for the same. Nowadays, no one can escape from short deadlines and stress at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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. The working hours are extended to 10-12 hours a day, and in
this
Linking Words
 hectic schedule, it becomes impossible to be motivated to stick to a healthy
diet
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. When stressed and
frustated
Correct your spelling
frustrated
, people get lured into eating unhealthy snacks.
According to
Linking Words
 a report, obesity has increased by 90 %
due to
Linking Words
 office stress. Not only
this
Linking Words
, but varieties of unhealthy
food
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options
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 available in
market
Add an article
the market
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 are huge.
Due to
Linking Words
 the technological
advacement
Correct your spelling
advancement
advancements
, a person can order packaged
food
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while
Linking Words
 driving back
to
Change preposition
apply
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home in a car within minutes.
The
Correct article usage
Options
show examples
options
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 like- processed, packaged, and frozen items are available at cheap costs. The advertisements of
such
Linking Words
food
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options
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 on online applications
tempts
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tempt
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 an individual, thereby relying more on hotel and outside
food
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 and less on homemade nutritious
food
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. The USA,
for example
Linking Words
, reported maximum use of frozen foods at home,
due to
Linking Words
 extensive promotion by manufacturers and availability at supermarkets. There are some ways that
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved.
First,
Linking Words
at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 human resource department should organize sessions and calls which
caters
Correct subject-verb agreement
cater
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 to encouraging healthy eating habits. There should be events organized like
car- free
Correct your spelling
car-free
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 day,
nutritionist
Fix the agreement mistake
nutritionists
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, and
dietician free
Add a hyphen
dietician-free
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 sessions that
provokes
Change the verb form
provoke
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 employees to stop eating unhealthy,
junk
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 and ready-made meals.
Second,
Linking Words
the promotion and the packaging of healthy
options
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 like salads should be increased.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should increase the tax on
junk
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 packaged
food
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 and find paths to promote healthy
food
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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. In conclusion, eating
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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diet
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 is difficult
due to
Linking Words
change
Wrong verb form
changes
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 in lifestyle, overburden at work, and
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
show examples
 of
junk
Use synonyms
 foods available.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are many alternatives by which eating habits can be improved.

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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to add complexity and sophistication to your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences support that idea directly.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the question, including both causes and solutions, with equal depth and development.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including topic-specific terms, to enrich your essay.
task achievement
Keep your examples specific and detailed. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors to enhance its overall clarity and readability.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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