IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Somepeople say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?Give reasons for your answer and incl

#somepeople #tourism #effects #countries #people #travel #tourists #cultures #environments #incl
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Tourism is one of the major
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
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 which
contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 towards the respective country's GDP, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today's
technology focused
Add a hyphen
technology-focused
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 modernized world.
However
, there is a significant drawback
on
Change preposition
in
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 the countries where people use to travel, in terms of influencing their traditions, culture and environment.
This
 essay will delve into the root causes of negative effects on the countries and propose viable solutions to address these pressing issues. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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influencing
Wrong verb form
influence
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 the traditions and rituals that local people use to believe and follow to keep their community
into
Change preposition
in
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 the structure, which ultimately
afftecting
Correct your spelling
affects
 the community standards and
collapsing
Wrong verb form
collapses
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 the positive social norms. Another main issue is environmental pollution, tourists are not concerning the land and
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
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 everywhere. Especially
Moreover
 , they are the main cause
for
Change preposition
of
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 high carbon footprints resulting from the transportation sector of
the
Remove the article
apply
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each country. When it comes to
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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, Tourists have to respect the local traditions and should obey the rules and regulations presented
Change preposition
on
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in
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on
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 the boards.
Further
, They need to take public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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instead
 of private vehicles to reduce
the
Change the word
their
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 fuel usage and carbon footprints.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they have to respect the land and diposing the
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
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 in the designated areas to keep the environment clean and safe for everyone. In conclusion, addressing the root causes of negative impacts on countries
due to
 tourists requires a multifaceted approach that encompasses socioeconomic empowerment, enhanced law enforcement efforts, and community-based interventions. By implementing these strategies in a coordinated manner, it is possible to create safer and
clean
Correct word choice
cleaner
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 land for everyone to visit.
Submitted by thatchayini1994 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your ideas more clearly. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words like 'furthermore,' 'however') appropriately to connect your ideas seamlessly from one sentence to another. Break your essay into clear paragraphs for each main idea, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have touched on the negative effects of tourism and proposed solutions, incorporating more detailed examples and elaborating on the impact of these solutions will strengthen your argument. Additionally, maintain a focus on precision in language to ensure your ideas are conveyed as intended.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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