Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is argued whether
elderly
population could pose an issue or a benefit to societies. Correct article usage
the elderly
This
essay aims to prove that having ageing
population far Correct article usage
an ageing
outhweighes
its disadvantages.
Correct your spelling
outweighs
outweigh
outweighed
Firstly
, elderly persons are widely important for their cultural knowledge. Such
heritage is valuable for every generation, specially
for young Replace the word
especially
people
, since it helps them understand where they come from and where they are directed. For example
, grandparents in certain indigenous communities are considered 'sacred' for the cultural knowledge that they bear. They guide and counsel troubled younger generations, who often reach out for their advice.
Even though some pople
might disagree with Correct your spelling
people
this
statement, based on the fact that elderly people
do not provide economical
value for the industry, since most of them can no longer work at regular jobs. Replace the word
economic
However
, it is not whorty
to deem and Correct your spelling
worthy
worth
condem
Correct your spelling
condemn
such
a large community of people
for this
sole reason, because the elderly can provide help with tasks they are familiarized with, in addition
to instruct
and Wrong verb form
instructing
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
people
as well. To illustrate, most of the elderly women were taught how to do manual task
Change the noun form
tasks
such
as knitting, cooking or gardening. Those are valuable skills that could be useful to everyone,
since knowing how to cook or plant convey parts of daily life tasks. Remove the comma
apply
According to
a recent study made by The Guardian, elderly women in the country of Colombia often lead and make workshops for 'modern' people
who would like to learn how to bake, or overall
, gain manual abilities.
To conclude
, even though aging
populations could present a problem for governments, the value and insights provided by them are fundamental for conservating culture, Change the spelling
ageing
as well as
learn
new facts and activities to implement in daily life. Underscoring Wrong verb form
learning
in
the relevance of our elders helps us construct better and more stable societies.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on
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task response
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question from the beginning. State clearly if you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which you did effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the cohesion of your essay by using a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences to introduce new paragraphs. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task response
To improve on supporting your main points, continue to include relevant examples as you did with the indigenous communities and elderly women in Colombia. Consider adding more statistics or studies to further bolster your argument.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...