Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
In my opinion,
music
has a significant meaning in our lives like arts and science. Eveyone
has their own view of Correct your spelling
Everyone
music
. Some people listen to music
to kill time or find insparation
and some of them even dedicate their dreams solely to the melody of songs.
Correct your spelling
inspiration
Music
is the creation of nature and animals were the first singers in this
world. The chirp of birds, roars of lions and tigers, choir of whales and
etc. made songs way before mankind did. Making the environment more brighter and Correct word choice
apply
colorfull
is the main purpose of Correct your spelling
colourful
music
.
After 90.000.000 years, music
has been developing and sorted to
Change preposition
into
the
Correct article usage
apply
diffrent
types. Correct your spelling
different
Tradional
Correct your spelling
Traditional
music
is far more ancient than modern ones like pop or jazz. It was created by people of specific nation
a long time ago and it describes the pain and hardships of that time. I support the idea of Fix the agreement mistake
nations
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
music
not being forgotten, however
, not everybody has to listen
the songs they do not like.
Add the preposition
listen to
Music
changes like technology and economy and it can not be prevented. Every single person have
their own taste and it is good to have Correct subject-verb agreement
has
diffrent
opinions, but it is not right to force them to like Correct your spelling
different
tradional
ones just because they love international Correct your spelling
traditional
music
. Humans were born to live happily and without restrains
. Anything can bring joy starting from Replace the word
restraints
music
, arts and sports to simple things like love.
In conclusion, music
is made for everyone to enjoy and any types
of Fix the agreement mistake
type
music
has significant
place in our hearts.Add an article
a significant
Submitted by dnm.best on
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Task Achievement
Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question. For instance, explicitly state whether you agree or disagree with the importance of music, art, and drama in schools.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance your coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a separate point related to your overall argument. Ensure there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the next.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points. Rather than speaking generally about music, include examples that demonstrate its importance or impact, particularly in the context of education.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your conclusion to ensure it summarily addresses the topic and reiterates your stance. A strong conclusion reinforces your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of the essay prompt. The question focuses on the comparison of music, art, and drama's importance to other school subjects at the primary level. Tailor your response to directly address this comparison.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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