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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram below shows how salt water is removed from sea water to make it drinkable Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below shows how salt water is removed from sea water to make it drinkable Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram depicts the process of how
salt
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 is purified to remove the
salt
Use synonyms
 to convert it into drinkable .
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process is commenced with the
Use synonyms
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 pumped
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the filtration system , and it is gone through several filters and
post treatment
Add a hyphen
post-treatment
show examples
 to have the end product of purified
water
Use synonyms
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 supply system.
Otherthan
Correct your spelling
Other than
 that, all the
by products
Add a hyphen
by-products
show examples
 are returned back to the
sea
Use synonyms
. First of all,
Use synonyms
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is taken to a
pre treatment
Add a hyphen
pre-treatment
show examples
 filter via a
Use synonyms
salt
Correct your spelling
saltwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 intake,
thereafter
Linking Words
 pre
filltered
Correct your spelling
filtered
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped through a membrane at a higher pressure
while
Linking Words
 the backwash from the pre-filter is transmitted through a
pipe line
Correct your spelling
pipeline
show examples
 back to the
sea
Use synonyms
. Once,
this
Linking Words
 filtered
water
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 gone through the membrane, it is
then
Linking Words
 treated with lime , chlorine and floried and
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
subsequently,
show examples
 it
is send
Change the verb form
is sent
show examples
 to a storage tank and the
stores
Replace the word
stored
show examples
 desalted
water
Use synonyms
 is
consequently
Linking Words
 distributed to the
water
Use synonyms
suppy
Correct your spelling
supply
 system. The membrane which is used to
purifie
Correct your spelling
purify
 the
Use synonyms
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
contained
Wrong verb form
contains
show examples
 small holes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
through which only
water
Use synonyms
 molecules can go through, and the
salt
Use synonyms
 and impurities are taken back to the
sea
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salt, water, sea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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