IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#organizations #companies #staff #uniform
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Uniforms
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the belonging of
staff
Use synonyms
 to
companies
Use synonyms
 or organizations. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there is not a policy which makes wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 compulsory, there is a
dress
Use synonyms
 code for so many
working places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 in general. Naturally, there are
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that. Uniforms or
dress
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 codes usually provide more serious and respectful working areas. To
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 able to maintain a healthy
workplace
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, the rules must be followed and protected. Uniforms would have been a good
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 point to build a disciplined
workplace
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for those
companies
Use synonyms
 which have more serious
customers
Add a comma
customers,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 policy
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 professional impression.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
dress
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 code policies might
bitterly
Add a missing verb
be bitterly
show examples
 beneficial for especially organizations itself.
However
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, if it is considered that
companies
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 consist of
staff
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 and
staff
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 are
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
, to impose
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 and compulsory clothes
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 definitely devastates their diversity.
Furthermore
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, some clothes might be extremely overwhelming to wear all day. Feeling restricted and uncomfortable all day will not only reduce their productivity but
also
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 enhance their stress level.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of forcing
people
Use synonyms
 to be
people
Use synonyms
 who they are actually not, accepting all human diversity and creating a
workplace
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 can feel like in their homes will definitely
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 useful.
This
Linking Words
 allows to build better relationships with customers, create
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 friendly and peaceful
workplace
Use synonyms
 and increase the productivity level of the
staff
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even
to stop
Change the verb form
stopping
show examples
 implementing
dress
Use synonyms
 code policies immediately is not convenient at least for now,
Use synonyms
companies
Correct word choice
as companies
show examples
 can have more
relax
Change the form of the verb
relaxed
show examples
, flexible and comprehensive ones.
Submitted by vincase36 on

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction presents the topic clearly and introduces the main points of discussion. The essay could benefit from a more defined thesis statement that summarises the advantages and disadvantages.
Paragraph Structure
A more structured approach to organising paragraphs would aid in clarity and flow. Consider dedicating individual paragraphs to discuss each advantage or disadvantage in detail, ensuring a logical progression of ideas.
Use of Examples
Support your arguments with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points. These could be hypothetical scenarios, real-life examples, or references to studies, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Cohesion & Transitions
Work on the cohesion within and between paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help create smoother connections between ideas, aiding the reader in following your argumentation more easily.
Conclusion Effectiveness
Revise the conclusion to ensure it summarises the key points discussed and clearly states your stance or recommendation regarding uniforms. This will make your argument more impactful and provide a strong closing to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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