Some believe that private secondary schooling is the superior choice for students, while others feel that they can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The modern school system proposes several study opportunities; among these private schooling is a controversial academic path. In
this
essay, I will delve into the disadvantages and advantages of private schooling and I will conclude with an assessment of its social effects.
Firstly
, the major drawback of private schooling is the segregation of pupils, separating
by family income. The reason Wrong verb form
separated
of
Change preposition
for
this
is the fact that private schools
require high tuition fees and only a small fraction of the society can afford it. Thus
, private schools
enroll students
that
are Correct pronoun usage
who
rised
by high-income families and Correct your spelling
raised
therefore
not allowing
diversity among the pupils. Wrong verb form
allow
This
results in a deleterious scenario, where young people are unable to learn from different cultures. For instance
, research studies have shown that the lack of ethnical
stimuli generates a lower level of inventive and creativity, which is typical to multicultural groups.
Despite the lack of ethnical variety that penalizes the creativity of Correct your spelling
ethical
students
, the most significant advantage of private schooling is the high quality of teaching. Small classes, improved technologies, and focused attention on each student,
Remove the comma
apply
creates
the optimal scenario for training scholars and allowing them to reach long-term goals in their Correct subject-verb agreement
create
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Students
from private schools
reach high grades and plan for their future based on skills that they have developed since the juvenile age. For example
, word famous
universities, Correct your spelling
world-famous
such
as Harvard or Cambridge, enroll. for the most part, students
Add a missing verb
were rised
rised
in private Correct your spelling
raised
rise
schools
which allowed them to score better in academic exams.
In conclusion, low ethnical diversity and the
high technical Correct article usage
apply
prepartion
are the major disadvantages and advantages, respectively. Correct your spelling
preparation
Overall
, the low diversity in private schools
could be mitigated by allowing other students
form
Correct your spelling
from
low income
families to Add a hyphen
low-income
enroll
, by either creating scholarships or lowering their tuition fees.Change the spelling
enrol
Submitted by g.marta2013 on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the essay provides a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. Include specific examples to support each view to make the argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, transition phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader through the essay. Also, ensure consistency in tense and agreement throughout the essay for improved readability.