People prefer high paid jobs as compared to job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a trend surrounding
people
priortizing
Correct your spelling
prioritizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lucrative
job
rather than satisfied
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. The writer of
this
essay claims
due to
ensuring a sustainable
life
along with
the value of living our
dream
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree that it is much better to land a high paid
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
.
One
of the main reasons
explain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
why employees should have a lucrative
job
is how it
advance
Correct subject-verb agreement
advances
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
That is
to say , with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
immense income they gain from their
job
, it is reasonable that
this
will be used , without worrying , to improve the quality of their
life
.
Therefore
, not only
being
Verb problem
are they
show examples
capable of ensuring
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better future , but
people
with a high paid jobs
also
are likely to take care of their parents and the whole after generations .
Nevertheless
, the benefit of
gainning
Correct your spelling
gaining
job
satisfaction should
also
be
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
when it comes to landing a good
life
.
This
is because ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
is full of ups and downs , so
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who have
job
satisfaction are more prone to get promotions in their
job
, leading to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a highly sustainable income .
Thus
, these employees will find it easy to control not only their
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
quality
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
their whole
life
It is the writer's perspective that choosing a lucrative
job
must be
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
choice
as a result
of being able to live
one
's
dream
. It must be recognised that in the contemporary era , no longer do
people
keep
pursuading
Correct your spelling
persuading
pursuing
their
dream
as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a
brunch
Correct your spelling
bunch
show examples
of conditions
such
as socio-economic background which create a boundary to reach
one
's
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
occupation .
This
means ,
since
Correct word choice
that since
show examples
people
land a lucrative
job
, it would be much better for them to idealise their dreams as they don't have to worry about funds or incomes anymore .
As a result
,
this
will be an opportunity for them to live with their own
life
. In conclusion , even though
job
satisfaction brings
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of benefits to
one
's
life
, it is likely better for employees
land
Fix the infinitive
to land
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highpaid
Correct your spelling
high paid
high-paid
jobs
due to
its ability to advance the
life
quality
as well as
living our
dream
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Logical Structure
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Supported Main Points
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Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
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Relevant & Specific Examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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