Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Over the past decade, there has been tremendous advancement in
technology
in various sectors of the economy with the effects being both positive and negative. Some people argue that these developments have widened the gap
between the wealthy and those with low incomes in society.In this
essay, I will highlight some of the ways that technology
has created inequality between the wealthy and the poor. Additionally
, I will discuss the ways by which technology
has narrowed the gap
which strongly i agree with.To beginwith
, most Correct your spelling
begin with
of
Change preposition
apply
the
industries are using modern instruments and software to perform their daily routine operations. Correct article usage
apply
this
is because tools are more efficient and more reliable compared to human labor
.Change the spelling
labour
As a result
, this
has led to the replacement of human laborers
with machines. A good example is the replacement of unskilled workers who used to pluck tea manually in most of the tea factories in Kenya with modern automobiles. As Change the spelling
labourers
such
, many people become unemployed, and the lack of such
a source of income the
exacerbated poverty.
Correct article usage
apply
on the other hand
, I strongly believe that technological development in the finance and education sectors has bridged the gap
between the two social groups in society.
First,
currently, almost everyone now owns a cell phone including the population living in rural areas.Therefore
, access to such
telecommunication devices make
it easier to access Change the verb form
makes
to
financial assistance and information. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, people in the
rural areas lacked access to banks and even never opened bank accounts, with the introduction of mobile banking, low-income earners can save some money through mobile money applications. Correct article usage
apply
moreover
, this
creates a credit score among the financial lender and therefore
they can borrow and expand their businesses.
secondly
, the technological improvement of medical appliances and drugs has greatly improved the quality of life among the population. this
in
turn, has narrowed the inequality Add the comma(s)
, in
gap
that exists between the rich and the poor. For example
, the mass production of cheap generic drugs by many pharmaceutical companies has greatly reduced alleviated diseases among the
low-income earners.Correct article usage
apply
consequently
, these the
medicines are affordable for almost everyone. in conclusion, change I think that modern advancements in technology
hasbridged
the Correct your spelling
have bridged
gap
between the poor and the wealthy.Submitted by kenkin1122 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with more depth. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt before giving your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.
task achievement
Improve clarity and comprehensiveness in your ideas by planning your essay before writing. Outline each paragraph's main idea and supporting points to ensure a focused argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Where possible, include facts, figures, or real-world scenarios that illustrate your points effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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