The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
First thing
first,
the digger shaped like a truck with two long wheels and a long scope, collects the raw clay materials as the foundation of making the brick.
Then
the clay is placed in the metal grid with square holes, so the small particles of the clay can come down to a roller. The small particles are
then
transported through the roller machine and mixed
together with
sand and water to create a firm substance.
Furthermore
, the firm substance can either be moulded in the 3D rectangle mould or automatically processed by the machine and
then
cut by the wire cutter to produce a brick shape.
Subsequently
, the shaped
bricks
are stacked inside a drying oven for about 24 - 48 hours.
Moreover
, the stacked
bricks
are heated inside a kiln at a moderate temperature of 200 – 980 Celsius degrees,
then
continued in the second kiln at a higher temperature of 870 to 1300 Celsius degrees. In the next step, all the stacked
bricks
are put into the cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours.
Finally
, all the
bricks
undergo the packaging process and
then
are delivered by a big truck to the customers.
Submitted by myra.wirawan on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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