IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter •Remained him when and where you met •Tell him what kind of job you are interested in •Say why you think you would be suitable for the job

Dear Manager of the Burger King chain restaurants, Mr. Brown, Hello, I hope
this
Linking Words
 message finds you well. I am Reza Ghorbani. I am writing to you regarding your suggestion about a possible vacancy to work in one of your restaurants. You and I were on the flight from New York to Chicago two weeks ago on the 9th of August, and I was your fellow traveller who had sat next to you in the aeroplane. During that flight, you offered me a well-paid job; it was a management position in one of your restaurants in New York, and I welcomed your suggestion because of my abilities, experience and interest in managing. Inasmuch as I have studied management at the university, and I have the experience of working as a manager in one of the KFC branches for two years, I think I could be suitable for the position you offered me in
such
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 a way that I can put my knowledge and experience into practice, and not only can I increase the sales rate of your New York branch restaurant, but
also
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 I can make you gain more profit.
Besides
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, I am a patient person who is renowned for behaving personnel in a friendly and efficient manner. I am highly thankful that you spent time reading my letter, and I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Best regards, Reza Ghorbani.

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language
Use short sentences and clear ideas. Some lines are long and hard to read.
structure
Break the text into 2 or 3 small paragraphs: intro, meeting and job talk, and closing. This helps flow.
style
Be steady in how you greet. Pick one form: Dear Mr. Brown or Dear Manager, not both.
content
Be exact about the job and your skills. Avoid giving too much praise about profit. Show a real example of your work.
tone
Polite tone and clear aim.
content
You mention the meeting and the job offer.
content
You show work experience in management.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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