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Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
The pie graphs illustrate the average
energy's
Change noun form
energy
show examples
 consumption in Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 and the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions resulting
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 these
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 used.
Overall
, the most significant proportion of
energy
 consumption
are
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is
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 water heating and heating which
togather
Correct your spelling
together
are accounts
Wrong verb form
account
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 for nearly three quarters,
whereas
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 ratio of using
energy
 is lighting and cooling.
In contrast
 , water heating and other appliances together
comprises
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comprise
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of
Change preposition
apply
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exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of green gas emissions .
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 cooling
is
Verb problem
uses
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 the least amount of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
energy
 and
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
Energy
 use by water heating comprises of a third Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
.
Also
, produce roughly
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
(32%) of gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
while
 heating
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 42% of
energy
 but it produce
emission
 15%.
On the other hand
, lighting and refrigeration produce double
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of consumption
represent
Wrong verb form
representing
show examples
 8% and 14 % respectively.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 cooling is the least amount of
energy
 using and
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
emission
 which comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2% and 3% respectively
Submitted by rawanzoubi3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emission with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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