Some people think it is important for children to take lessons outside classroom, for example by visiting places such as local companies or public buildings. Do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals believe in providing outside learning by visiting
to
commercial establishments and public buildings. I totally agree with Remove the preposition
apply
this
because it exposed students
to a great deal of knowledge
. This
essay will discuss how practical knowledge
outweighs mere class learning.
To begin
with, classrooms are essential for grasping theoretical knowledge
, which can sometimes be hard to remember. It is believed that visual information stays in a human being's brain longer than textual knowledge
. For example
, students
visiting museums, historical places, and monuments can explain historical events more efficiently than students
who have not visited such
places.
Secondly
, trips to local companies would help to explore their career paths. Children get chance
to meet professionals and see them in Correct article usage
a chance
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
would
inspire and help Correct pronoun usage
that would
to
make informed decisions about their career paths. Correct pronoun usage
them to
For example
, students
who are fascinated by robotics would visit the company and get in sights
of prototypes made by that company.
Correct your spelling
insights
Furthermore
, it helps foster communication skills and personality development,
and provides opportunities for Remove the comma
apply
students
to pursue internships during their summer break. By visiting multinational companies, students
become more confident in communicating with peers, which in turn prepares them to face these peers confidently during recruitment interviews. Consequently
, internships can offer them insight into practical knowledge
.
Summing up, these educational trips are of paramount importance on the grounds that most students
get
benefit from them. Verb problem
apply
Therefore
, school administrations should organize trips and encourage students
to participate in these iterative visits to gain practical knowledge
.Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear position with logically structured paragraphs. To enhance coherence and cohesion, strive to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
While the essay adequately addresses the task, providing clear arguments supported by examples, there's room for improvement in task completion. Make sure to directly address the question in both the introduction and conclusion. Furthermore, integrating a wider variety of specific examples and deeper analysis could strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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