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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart shows the trends of employment in the USA and predictions to the future.

The line chart shows the trends of employment in the USA and predictions to the future.
#line #trends #employment #usa #predictions #future
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The line graph presents the employment trends in the United States of America
along with
Linking Words
 the predictions for the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, there will be a significant increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the figure of
employees
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the services
field
Use synonyms
. It will
surpassing
Change the verb form
surpass
be surpassing
show examples
 the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 in both Agriculture and Manufacturing by 2025. At the beginning of the given period, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people that worked
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
services
Correct article usage
the services
show examples
 company was around ten.
However
Linking Words
, there was a relatively stable increase
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1975 to 1979. Since 1979, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that particular
field
Use synonyms
significantly
Add a missing verb
has significantly
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 and
predicted
Add a missing verb
is predicted
show examples
 to continue growing until
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 its peak in 2025
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of 90
workers
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with the positive sentiments on the
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 in services
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
, agriculture suffered an extreme decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 in 2025.
In between
Change preposition
Between
show examples
 1975 and 1979, the
numbe
Correct your spelling
number
 was stagnant
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 80
employees
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, since
then
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 constantly decreased year by year.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 result of it, it is predicted that in 2025, only around ten people will take
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
agriculture as their
field
Use synonyms
 of profession. The manufacturing industry had a distinct trend from
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
Use synonyms
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. The figure showed that there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similarity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning and the end of the given period, both around ten people. An incline was experienced between 1975 and 1980,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a gradual decline since
then
Linking Words
.
Submitted by writingieltsband9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, field, workers, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "trends" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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