the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving in 2008. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given bar charts illustrate the data about the destination of
UK
postgraduates and graduates (excluding full-time
work
)in different four categories in 2008.
Overall
, the highest number of
graduate
students
in the
UK
were left for
further
study in 2008. From the first bar graph, we see that 17,735 thousand
graduate
students
are abandoned for part-time
work
.
whereas
, only 2,535 thousand postgraduate pupils are left for part-time jobs.For voluntary
work
3,500
graduate
teenagers were gone in 2008 as well and 345 postgraduate admissions were
also
gone. From the second bar chart, we observed that the maximum number of postgraduate
students
departed for only
further
study in the
UK
.
While
just 1,625 postgraduate
students
remain in the unemployment category.
Also
, for the unemployment category 16,235
graduate
teenagers remain in the year of 2008.
To sum up
, the biggest number of
graduate
students
are left for part-time
work
, voluntary
work
, and
further
study in the
UK
throughout the period.
Submitted by prajaktavibhute898 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, further".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, work, graduate, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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