IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum.** Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/ unpaid work.** In your letter, - explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum - describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful - give details of when you would be available for work Dear Sir or Madam,

#museum #home #people #work #director #skills #qualities #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to
show
Verb problem
express
show examples
 my interest in your upcoming
museum
 near to my house
is
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
 looking for a person to do
work
 with you as a part-time voluntary/ unpaid job. I would like to
work
 with you to do some voluntary
work
 at the
museum
. I want to
work
 with you because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I am very much interested in the history subject. I would love to know more about it. Since in your
museum
, there are a lot of old furniture collections and books from that I will get to know more about our past culture which is in my interest.
Moreover
, I am good at explaining things to others. As I have experience of teaching for past 3 years. I can cope with new things and places very easily which will be very useful for your
museum
. I am a local person I can give more information about local people thinking. I am working currently in a hospital as a document writer. There my job time is from 2- 10.
Then
 in the morning shift, I can
work
 with you part-time. I am not doing
this
work
 for money. I will
work
 with for free of cost. From tomorrow
also
 I am available for
work
. Let me know when you can do
joining
Correct article usage
the joining
show examples
 formalities for me. I will be there on time. Thank you for considering me in advance. Regards, Rohan Roy.
Submitted by akankshayhedaoo10 on

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single idea per paragraph
Provide a clearer structure by separating different points or ideas into distinct paragraphs. For instance, have one paragraph for each of the main bullet points: your interest, your skills, and your availability.
logical structure
Ensure your sentences are clear and logically connected to improve the overall flow of your letter.
complete response
While you have covered all points, try to expand on each one to provide more detailed information. This can enhance the completeness of your response.
suitable writing tone
You have maintained a polite and appropriate tone throughout the letter.
greeting and closing
You have a clear closing with thanks and regards, which creates a good impression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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