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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
#show #consumption #food #world #two #countries #china #india #report #university #lecturer #data
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The information about the
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of
food
Use synonyms
 consumption between the
world
Use synonyms
 and two Asian countries
such
Linking Words
 as
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 in the year 2008 is depicted by given circular charts.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature of the given chart is that processed
food
Use synonyms
 is the major
food
Use synonyms
 choice of people either in the
world
Use synonyms
 or in the other two countries,
while
Linking Words
 less contributing foods are nuts and seeds in the
world
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 in
China
Use synonyms
 animal
food
Use synonyms
 is least consumed by the populace. Taking a cursory glance, it can be clearly manifested that the percentage of vegetables and fruits is nearly equal in the
world
Use synonyms
 and
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china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 as compared to
India
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 which is 23%.
However
Linking Words
, processed
food
Use synonyms
 occupies the highest space in
India
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
 and the
world
Use synonyms
 with the percentage of 39%, 34% and 41% respectively. Moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 details, a difference of almost 11.5 % accounted for the flesh
food
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 intake between the
world
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,
India
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 and
China
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 as the former two contributed around 26.5% and the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 was 15%. Surprisingly, nuts and seeds
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be the less favourites of people of the
world
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 and
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 with figures 4% and 11%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Chinese people
understands
Change the verb form
understand
show examples
 the importance of seeds and nuts;
therefore
Linking Words
, these are consumed more in
China
Use synonyms
 with a figure of 19% in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 counterparts.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, world, china, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • average consumption
  • worldwide
  • data
  • comparison
  • differences
  • similarities
  • food items
  • categories
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • majority
  • minority
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