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Writing Samples
Band 5

🔶Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#🔶nowadays #business #meetings #trainings #place #🔸do #development
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In today's world, post-COVID, most trade activities take place online rather than offline or in the office. There are many
benifits
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benefits
 of
this
Linking Words
 online
work
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 experience as it gives
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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 for family
time
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.
However
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, too much indulgence
of
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in
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 personal life
in
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on
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 professional grounds can have negative effects as well. I have a strong opinion that online training and trading
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 way more productive than in-office set-up. On one hand, there are some disadvantages to remote meetings,
such
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 as having too much screen
time
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 makes a human being anxious and unattentive if the training duration exceeds. Learning virtually is a good medium if the long training is conducted in a hybrid learning model. Working in a virtual environment
also
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 allows an employee to
work
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 from home or gives them mobility during their training period. Not only, long virtual
work
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 does not allow you to get to know your colleagues better and that might reflect in losing interest in
work
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 but
also
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,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 will
impact
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also impact
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 social life.
On the other hand
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, there are many advantages of remote jobs. One of the biggest is that an individual is allowed to do the job from anywhere, any place. One just needs their laptop and saves
time
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 and money on travelling to an office for a conversation.
For example
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,
this
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 way of working has enabled working women to
work
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 from their homes and take care of their families in India. Working from anywhere is the biggest advantage that today's generation of digital nomads
have
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has
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. In conclusion, we can say that whether an individual is working remotely or is present on the job physically both have pros and cons. People get family
time
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 because of offline working
whereas
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 they miss the chance to collaborate with colleagues. So, It can be said that working remotely has several advantages and
thus
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 it outweighs the disadvantages.
Submitted by avesh1409 on

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Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay would greatly benefit from detailed instances that illustrate your points more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. While logical structure is present, transitions between points can be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement and Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your position in the introduction and conclusion to ensure readers understand your stance from the outset. While your conclusion reiterates your position well, reinforcing it in the introduction would enhance clarity.
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