IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or a negative development

#robots #companions #workers #work #home #development
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Nowadays, we are living in an amazing technological era, with various
robots
 being developed that act as companions and workers to provide great assistance both at home and at work.
This
 essay provides a change that will happen because these
robots
 will help usefully use the house and ensure the quality and it at work. No doubt, with the advent of electronic equipment like washing machines, dishwashers, and vacuum cleaners the amount of
time
 and energy required to perform daily household activities has reduced drastically.
Moreover
, even in workplaces, with the increase in the usage of artificial intelligence or robotics automation, the
time
 required for doing work has
reduced
Add a missing verb
been reduced
show examples
.
This
 gives us more leisure
time
 to spend with children and other fun activities or even hobbies which we are passionate about.
On the other hand
, extensive use of machines can result in over-dependence and result in an unhealthy or lazy lifestyle.
In addition
,
due to
 robotics and the excessive importance given to automation, many people who were responsible for doing mundane tasks are losing their jobs. In conclusion,
robots
 will make our jobs easier and we will have more
time
 for the things we like. But many people may lose their jobs because of
robots
.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
To improve in the area of task achievement, aim to develop your argument further. Providing more detailed examples and elaborating on how robotics affect specific aspects of work and home life will strengthen your essay.
coherence & cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider creating clearer logical connections between paragraphs, ensuring that the transition from one idea to the next is smoother. Additionally, using a wider range of linking phrases can significantly enhance the readability of your text.
coherence & cohesion
Regarding supported main points within coherence and cohesion, work on integrating more specific examples and evidence to back up each of your main points. This will offer more depth to your argument and substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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