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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, shopping has become one of the most popular leisure
activities
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 for many
people
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. In fact, it often replaces traditional hobbies
such
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 as reading, sports, or social gatherings.
This
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 trend can be attributed to several reasons, but it
also
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 has both positive and negative consequences. One of the main reasons why shopping has become a preferred pastime is the rise of consumer culture.
People
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 are constantly exposed to advertisements on television, social media, and online platforms, which encourage them to buy new products.
In addition
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, shopping can be a social activity. Many
people
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 enjoy going to malls or markets with friends or family, turning it into a form of entertainment rather than a necessity. Another reason is that shopping can provide instant satisfaction. Buying new items,
such
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 as clothes or gadgets, often creates a feeling of happiness or achievement, which is appealing to many in today’s fast-paced and stressful world.
However
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,
this
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 shift in leisure
activities
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 has both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side, shopping supports the economy by increasing demand for goods and services. It
also
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 allows
people
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 to explore new trends and express their personal style. On the negative side, excessive shopping can lead to financial problems and may replace healthier or more meaningful hobbies.
Instead
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 of spending time reading, exercising, or engaging in creative
activities
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,
people
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 may become dependent on material possessions for entertainment, which can be harmful to their long-term well-being. In conclusion, the popularity of shopping as a hobby is driven by consumer culture, social interaction, and instant gratification.
While
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 it can have economic and social benefits, it is important for individuals to maintain a balance and not let shopping completely replace other valuable leisure
activities
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.
Overall
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,
this
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 trend can be seen as more negative than positive if it dominates
people
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’s free time.

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task
Try to add more real examples to back each point and make the idea clear in every paragraph.
coherence
Use more simple linking words and keep one idea in each paragraph to make the flow easy to follow.
content
The idea is clear: shopping as a hobby, its causes, and its good and bad effects.
structure
Good structure with clear start, body, and end.
coherence
Use of linking words helps move from one idea to the next.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Retail therapy
  • Materialism
  • Recreational activity
  • Social media influence
  • Advertising
  • Convenience
  • Online shopping
  • Commercial spaces
  • Disposable income
  • Hobby
  • Leisure time
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Trends
  • Material possessions
  • Personal worth
  • Stress relief
  • Societal shift
  • Entertainment factor
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