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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

the grap below shows the contributio of three sectors-agriculture, manufacturing and business and services to the uk economy in the twentieth century summerise the informatio by selrcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relavant

#grap #contributio #three #sectors-agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century #summerise #informatio #features #comparisons #relavant
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The given bar graph illustrates the agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services sectors'
contribution
 to the UK
economy
 in the twentieth century.
Overall
, the
contribution
 of
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
 and manufacturing sectors
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
economy
had been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stayed steadly during the first half of the
20 th
Correct your spelling
20th
 century,
while
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in the
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 half ,
by contrast
contribution
 of
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 and financial sector increased drastically over the whole period. In detail, in 1900
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 sector was given nearly 50%
contribution
 to the
economy
 of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, and
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 next 25
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 that increased slightly to just over 50%, and
thereafter
, it
had fallen
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 drastically to record nearly 10 % in 1975 and
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 next 25 years it had
further
 decreased to post nearly 2% in the
year
 2000.
On the other hand
,
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 and
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 services sector contributed only around 5%
fot
Correct your spelling
to
 the
economy
 of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in the
year
 1900 and
however
, that increased significantly over the whole period to record just above 35 % in the
year
 2000 , and that was the highest
contribution
 for the
economy
 in that
year
 compared to the other sectors.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. In your introduction, briefly present what the graph shows. In your conclusion, summarize the main trends or comparisons.
Logical Structure
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. Use paragraphs to separate different sections - one for the introduction, one for each sector being discussed, and one for the conclusion. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific data from the graph. For example, when you mention the change in contributions from sectors, include specific percentages to support your statement. This makes your argument stronger.
Complete Response
Make sure to comprehensively answer the task by covering all points indicated in the prompt. Include comparisons between sectors where relevant, and ensure that your essay provides a complete overview of the trends shown in the graph.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Strive to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate your points more clearly, avoiding repetitive language.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Include relevant and specific examples by referencing the data points from the graph. Your essay would benefit from more detailed comparisons and examples to clearly illustrate the trends and changes over the century.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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