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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Human activities has negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changes, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give y opinion.

#activities #impact #plants #animals #world #people #changes #actions #change
There is a theory
which
Correct word choice
that
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 states human
life
 activities have
advers
Correct your spelling
adverse
 effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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biodiversity.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people think there is no way out of
this
 interaction between human
life
 and other living things including plants, animals and their ecosystem, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that a more green and sustainable
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 can protect the environment as I discussed
foreward
Correct your spelling
forward
. Since many people
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of environmental pollution sources
such
 as factories, transportation systems, and
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
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 of
industry
Add an article
the industry
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 as an essential part of the
deveopment
Correct your spelling
development
 processes and
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 of higher quality of
life
, the carbon footprint of their activities not only cannot be reduced but
also
 it is
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 be increased in the next few years, and the theory comes true.
On the other hand
, joining all members of human society to
environmental
Correct article usage
an environmental
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campiegn
Correct your spelling
campaign
campaigns
, and taking more responsible policies by the governments incorporating with national and international agencies to preserve our planet, can effectively diminish the impacts and grow the sustainable practices in all parts of domestic and industrial activities, which are resulting in more opportunities to keep the environment safer for all its residence at the present without compromising the next generations needs for live on the Earth. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 as I discussed, in spite of some
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 thoughts
indicate
Wrong verb form
indicating
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 all the ways to prevent land
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
 are banned, there is lots of
hopes
Fix the agreement mistake
hope
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 if all of us think more
responsible
Change the word
responsibly
show examples
 against our planet
besides
 the local and global green policies which
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 taken by authors, preventing and reducing negative impacts on the environment.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is clearly differentiated from others.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve overall readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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